In Justice and Honour
by xCrystalNightx
Summary: There is no victory without sacrifice. The aftermath of HG. Katniss is back but all is not well. The Capitol is plotting revenge, Prim is in danger, a rebellion is rising and what about Gale and Peeta? One things for sure, the games have only begun...
1. Homecoming

**Set after HG. The story of the aftermath, the love triangle and the inevitable rebellion that will threaten all of their lives. There is no victory without sacrifice.**

**Disclaimer: Suzanne Collins is a legend. I however am not. sigh***

**Please review with any ideas cause I know everyone has their opinions of what will happen in Catching Fire!**

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Chapter One - Prim.

My hair was swept up into a bun and wisps of golden strands tickled my face in the light breeze. I wore the same outfit that I had worn on the reaping day. Only, today, the same feelings werent attached to it.

Yes the skirt was still two sizes too big and held up by various pins, and the ruffled blouse was itchy and kept untucking itself from the skirt, but I didnt feel the same sick fear or clammy nervousness. Today was a day of joy.

The day that Katniss returned home.

I figeted impatiently with collar of the shirt, shifting from foot to foot. I stood in the large square surrounded by hourdes of people ready to welcome the heroes back to the district. The temporary stage that was constucted for the reaping was back up, as was the podium. Mayor Undersee stood beaming behind the podium.

It was a day of joy for all in the district. Not only did two of our own survive, which is unheard of, but they were bringing riches to the district itself. Katniss, Mother and I would be moving into one of the honourary houses for the victors, with Haymitch as our neighbour. I grinned. I had a feeling it would be fun.

Mother stood by my side, clutching my hand. The days that Katniss was fighting for her life were so hard on her and I had to be brave for her. We couldnt all fall apart.

We stood in a roped off area with Peetas family, poised to greet our loved ones before the crowd took them. Since there was just the two of us in the family, they let Gale in too.

He was pratically family anyway.

He didnt let me out of his sight whilst Katniss was gone. He was always ready to take care of me, but I slowly learned to take care of myself.

I could see the hollowness in his eyes that my sisters absence left him with. His eyes were harder, protected and ringed with dark circles.

I knew he didnt sleep well.

I gave him a quick smile and he returned it half heartedly. I knew he was just as excited as I was to see her again, but those days that had taken a toll on him were hard to erase. I shuddered. I wouldnt think of those days again. They were the past.

And the future was bright.

I kept my eyes on the horizon, waiting for any glimpse of her arrival. Their arrival, should I say. I couldnt forget. Peeta.

I had held my breath for him just as I did for Katniss during the games. Even if she couldnt see it herself, wouldnt see it herself, I knew that his love for her was real. I could see it the way he brushed hair from her face when he thought the cameras attention wasnt on them, in the way he spoke softly to her as if he couldnt believe shed really listen to what he had to say and in the way he looked at her as if she was the most precious thing in the world.

He wasnt a fighter, we all knew that. But he as willing to fight for her. Fight for her survival. And I knew, that at the end, if it had come down to her or him, he would have sacrificed himself for her without a seconds hesitation.

I felt the hairs on my head settle into place as the wind suddenly died. The atmosphere stood still and all natural sound ceased as a hovercraft materialized in the air above our heads. People began to clap, then cheer and stamp their feet in uproar.

There was a moment of hesitation and then a square section on the bottom of the hovercraft seperated itself from the main body. It hovered there for a moment then slowly lowered itself towards the ground. It landed with a soft poof onto the dusty ground.

The crowd quietened comically and it took me a minute to register what I was seeing. Haymitch.

I laughed suddenly, a loud bark and to my suprise a few people joined in. "Hey, I helped you know", Haymitch huffed loudly and I laughed again.

He walked towards our roped area and shook hands with Peetas parents and Mother. He ruffled my hair and I clutched him around his pot belly in a tight hug.

"Thank You", I whispered. He smelt slightly of what I suspected was whiskey. "S'Kay Kid", he grinned bashfully. I beamed.

While this was happening, the hovering platform had re attached itself to the craft and then seperated again, hovering in the air. It lowered again slowly and my eyes focused in on two sets of legs standing on the platform.

Katniss! Peeta! Katniss!

My stomach leaped in excitement.

There they stood, side by side. Peeta was tethering on one leg, with a silver cane in his hand, the other arm slung over Katniss's shoulder, leaning into her for support.  
She clutched at his hand almost frantically as if he were about to be ripped away from her forever. Katniss.

Just seeing her face again brought back the light that had been missing in my life. All I could here was my breath coming in quick stutters.

"Katniss!" I cried out, unable to contain myself. Her eyes flitted to mine and she broke out in a huge smile.

Then, she stopped and looked back at Peeta. He stood up straighter and removed his arm from her. He held her eyes for another moment as if they were having a silent conversation and then slowly pulled his hand from hers. She searched his eyes with a pained expression that I didnt understand. Was it the fear of being seperated?

I saw her chest rise and fall as she took in a deep breath, never looking away from him. Then, carefully he broke the eye contact and stared with hard eyes out to the crowd. It happened so suddenly that I was sure Id imagined it but I thought I saw a tear slide down Katniss's cheek before she roughly brushed it away.

Closing her eyes, she leaned in swiftly and kissed his cheek. He stood stiffly. She whispered something to him and he said something back with a tense jaw. She nodded and then tore her gaze from him back to me and gave me a watery smile.

That was all I needed.

I pushed from my mothers grasp past the ropes, past the peacemaker officials, past everything that stood in my way. Not bothering to wait for the platform to really land, I leapt through the air at her and she caught me in her stride and clutched me to her, spinning in circles as she breathed my name into my hair.

All sound rushed back to me then and I heard the roar of the crowd. A camera zoomed past in my line of vision and I knew we were being filmed closely.

Then she set me on my feet and took my face in her hands. "Oh Prim!". She planted kisses all over my face and my face was wet with both of our tears. I felt another pair of arms surround us and knew that they were Mothers.

We stood there for several minutes, wrapped in our safe family embrace, together, at last. Then I heard a cough from beside us. I looked up through blurry eyes to see Haymitch muttering something to Katniss and she nodded. Squeezing me once more, she detached herself from the embrace.

Peeta was in a similar situation himself. He stood admist his brothers, being clutched by his dad fiercly. His family was larger and their embrace looked more impressive to the cameras, Im sure. Katniss stood watching them for a moment, then looked away with a sad look in her eyes.

Never letting go of my hand, she started walking towards the temporary stage in the centre of the crowd.

Then she stopped dead, so suddenly that I almost tripped over my own feet.

I looked up, confused, to see what she was doing and saw that somebody was standing in our way, not five feet from us.

I felt her take in a shaky breath and her lips moved slowly, soundlessly...

"Gale"

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**Thanks so much reading! Please review if you think I should continue!**

**Also if you have any ideas because I have some myself but Im sure Ill need help along the way and if you have any opinions on what should happen next let me know! It will be appreciated!**


	2. Ripped in Two

**Thanks so much to all who reviewed so far! 9 reviews for first chapter!! Woohoo!! Im not sure if this chapter is as good as the last and Im sorry about that. But I have some ideas to get the ball rolling in the next chapters so hopefully you'll stick around!**

**Continuing on I'm going to be switching POVs...**

**Thanks again! Please review!**

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Chapter Two - Katniss.

"Gale"

I felt my lips move but no sound came out. My throat suddenly felt dry, my palms sweaty. Gale.

There he stood, taller since when I had last seen him which didnt surprise me, his dark black hair seemed longer now, choppier, and a piece hung down over one eye.

I wanted to brush the hair from his face, gaze into his familiar grey eyes and clutch him in my arms tightly. My feelings shocked me. I usually didnt think about Gale in that way.

I hadnt realised how much I needed him until he was no longer there.

"Hey, Catnip" he said and his voice sent shivers of happiness down my spine. He stood almost casually, but I could see the hollowness in his eyes and the desperation of his gaze.

He needed me too.

But, I think I might have always known that.

Without taking my eyes off of him, I brought Prims hand to my lips, kissed it and then slowly let it go. Before I knew what I was doing, I walked towards him until we were standing eye to eye.  
I paused for a moment, taking him in. He looked the same and yet so different.

Then with a strangled cry, I threw myself into his arms with such force that I felt him stumble.

Gale, Gale, Gale.

At that moment, he was everything. Everywhere.

His familiar arms surounded me so perfectly and he moulded my body to his and twirled us both around. That smell of wood smoke, that heartbeat, that touch...

I inhaled deeply and felt complete once more. Felt safe. Felt at home. His breath tickled my neck as I felt him chuckle into my hair.

"I missed you too" he whispered and his lips brushed my ear, sending shivers throughout me.

"I thought I would never see you again" my voice sounded choked. He pulled away so he could look at me.

"I always knew you would come back to me". His words seemed to have an unspoken meaning and I could almost hear his thoughts. I met his eyes for what felt like an eternity, lost in them like a star in the sky.

Then I felt a jerk at my elbow and I was pulled roughly out of his embrace. I looked up to see Haymitch eyeing me furiously. I hadnt realised that the cameras were closely recording my reunion with Gale.

Haymitch smiled at the cameras and winked as though he were telling me a secret, then hissed through gritted teeth "You only have to keep up the act for a few more hours. Do you think you can manage that? Or will I have to have your Lover Boy over there removed".

I felt heat rush to my cheeks but I mimicked his fake smile "He's not my-"

"Just stick to the plan" he spat and stormed off towards the stage.

My arms ached in loss of Gales but I knew Haymitch was right. For our safety, I had to be more careful.

Still. There was a part of me.

A small, nagging part that I was trying to ignore. My hand burned for someone else. Someone other than Gale.

Peeta. To hold his hand again. It was almost a physical pain and I clenched and unclenched it at my side.

And thats when something occured to me.

I turned slowly to see Peeta standing still amoungst his family. He was staring, frozen, straight at me. For a brief moment, I saw a flash of pain streak through his eyes and then he blinked and they reformed back to the cold, emotionless state they had been in since I confessed my doubts to him.

Gale. Peeta.

Peeta. Gale.

I didnt know what to do... I felt so alone.

But then I felt the small pink hand slip into mine again and I knew that I would never be alone.

I had Prim.

She didnt seem to want to be away from me any more than I wanted to be away from her. I clutched her hand like a life line. She was what kept me grounded.

Haymitch beckoned me up onto the stage where Peeta was just after taking a seat.

I brought Prim over to where my mother was standing "I wont be long" I promised and she squeezed my hand before letting it go, smiling bravely.

She had grown so much and I hadnt been there to see it. It hurt to thin about that.

For a brief moment, an image of Rue flashed through my mind and I cringed.

She would never get to grow up.

I hurried up onto the stage, eager for the ceremony to be over so I could go home with Prim and my Mother. I took the second plastic chair that was placed a few feet from Peeta, after shaking Mayor Undersees hand. Haymitch sat on the stage too, as did, I just noticed, Effie Trinket.

"It is a day of joy for District 12. Not only are we victorious, but we have 2 tributes still standing..." the Mayor started on his congratulatory speech.

Suddenly the crowd broke out in a mass of laughter. I looked around to see what was so funny when I noticed what Peeta was doing.

He was edging his chair slowly towards mine, inch by inch, with an evil grin on his face. Then, when the Mayor glanced back to see what was going on, he sat still with an innocent expression on his face. It looked hilarious. He looked like a young boy afraid to be caught out by his teacher.

I caught his idea and slowly edged towards him, stopping abruptly when the Mayor glanced at us again and whisteling nochalently. The crowd exploded in giggles.

We continued to do this until our seats were touching.

Then Peeta grinned at me and my heart soared. He looked like his old self, blissfully happy. I beamed at him.

Over his head I could see Haymitch grinning in our direction and had to resist the urge to roll my eyes. Would the games ever be over?

Then Peeta yawned and stretched his arms above his head asif he were tired, but when he lowered them again, one of them had found its way around my shoulders.

The crowd went wild.

I smiled up at him, my eyes light. He leaned in and kissed the top of my forehead and I closed my eyes at the feel of his lips on my skin, like ice on fire.

I took his other hand in mine, liking the way it felt and nestled into him. I felt him let out a slow breath.

I didnt want the time to come. The time when his eyes would glaze back to the cold hearted person Peeta had become.

Because of me.

Unable to resist, I brought his hand to my lips and kissed it swiftly, wanting to feel his skin under my lips. He gazed at me, his expression unreadable.

Then the Mayor introduced Effie once again. She stood and walked to the podium.

I sat up a little straighter, frowning. There was something strange about her, different. She walked somewhat stiffly and her stance was guarded.

She started off with the usual babble in her high pitched voice but it wasnt as upbeat as it normally was, wasnt as happy.

I felt the coldness of fear slam into my stomach.

Then she said it.

"And this year has been very exciting. Very exciting indeed! But its about to get better! The Capitol has a little surprise for you all..."

Oh no, was all I could think, oh no.

She turned to us and gestured for us to stand. We stood side by side and I met Peetas eyes fleetingly procedding that he realised something was wrong as well.

He took my hand in his and squeezed it.

"Firstly" Effie continued perkily, but her eyes said something she could never say out loud "In honour of Peeta..."

My head whipped around to meet Peetas gaze and he looked at me with his eyebrows raised.

"The Gamemakers have enforced a new rule for the next game that will take place..."

Oh no.

Oh no.

"In honour of Peetas love for Katniss, his dedication and bravery..."

Oh no.

"The gamemakers have decided to keep the rule which states if both members of a district are the last standing, they will both be declared winners".

My heart stuttered.

The crowd cheered triumphantly and it took a minute for me to realise it was good news.

A good thing.

District tributes are now partners. It will save a life, if nothing else, I thought.

Everyone shouted Peetas name in joy. He was grinning from ear to ear and shocked me by leaning in and kissing my swiftly on the lips.

My lips tingled as he pulled away and the crowd went wild.

"And.." Effie continued "In honour of Katniss..."

And thats when I realised...

"They have enforced another rule..."

The news...

"This one, however, is a new rule..."

It wouldnt be good for me...

"In honour of Katniss's skill, cunning and, of course, for making this year the most exciting year of the hunger games since it first aired..."

She paused. I could feel my blood rushing and my heart pouding in my ears. I held my breath.

Oh no.

"The Gamemakers have decided to make the hunger games a semi annual event!"

People were cheering before they even heard what she had said but Peeta had frozen by my side so I knew he had heard.

I took a step forward.

"WHAT?" I shrieked. The clapping faltered... then slowly subsided altogether.

People couldnt understand what was going on.

Effie flushed the same colour as her hair.

"Theyre making it a semi annual event" she said softly but her voice bounced off of the silence of the crowd "Instead of once a year, it will be held every six months".

Silence.

Stunned silence.

I couldnt breathe, couldnt think. Admist all the haze, my eyes focused on Gales back as his figure retreated into the distance.

He was leaving. He hated me.

And so did they.

Suddenly the looks from the crowd were no longer happy or joyful. A sudden onslaught of hostile glares overbore me.

I almost felt fear as I realised something like this could turn the district on me... Exactly what they wanted...

I had a feeling they wouldnt be cheering for me again for a very long time...

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**Ok so just let me know what you think! Also if you have any opinions/ideas it will be appreciated!!**

**PS... I was sure before but after this chapter I'm not so much. Let me know what you think - Team Peeta or Team Gale???**


	3. Hiding

**Thanks so much to all that reviewed for taking the time to do so. I know a lot of people dont bother and I just wanted to say it means a lot and it really keeps me going!**

**So this is the new chapter, hope you like it. Dont forget to let me know what you think!**

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Chapter Three - Gale.

I retreated from the crowds quickly, hoping nobody would notice. And why would they? Who cared if I wasnt around?

Bitter thoughts swirled around in my head and I growled inwardly trying to shake them off.

The recent announcement rang in my ears, mocking me.

_"In honour of Katniss's skill, cunning and, of course, for making this year the most exciting year of the Hunger Games since it first aired, the gamemakers have decided to make the Hunger Games a semi annual event!"_

I kicked a stone on the dusty ground and it bounced back and hit me in the leg. Muttering furiously, I headed towards the chain link fence that seperated this world from the one I knew so well.

The one I understood.

Of course this had happened. Every action has a consequence. Did Katniss not see that?

There is no victory without sacrifice.

And this would be her sacrafice, her burden to bear.

I already had my own.

I could see the shock and pain that crossed her face run throught my mind over and over again. But she was powerless to stop it. The Capitol had made sure of that.

I slid under the loose sheet of fence and quickly entered the calming surroundings of the forest.

Memories flung themselves in front of me until I was running. Trying to run away, trying to hide from it all.

* * *

Effie calling out Prims name at the reaping. My blood freezing in my veins.

Katniss volunteering, screaming out Prims name. Pulling Prim away, sobbing and screaming.

Watching Katniss on screen, my heart in my mouth. Weeks of agonizing fear and pain.

Peeta. Holding her when I couldnt have. Protecting her when I should have.

Darkness engulfing me, clutching me in its hands.

Then the light. She had won. So had he. But she was coming home. To me.

Feeling her in my arms, safe at last. Her breath on my skin, her voice in my ear. Wanting to never let her go again...

* * *

I ran, faster and faster until I finally had to stop, out of breath. I sat on the ground and put my head in my hands. I was going insane and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Breathing heavily, I looked up and noticed that I recognised my surroundings.

My feet had brought me here, unknowing to myself.

I stood at the bottom of a steep hill. Taking another deep breath, I ran as fast as I could to the top, until I saw it. The thicket of berry bushes that protected that place from the world.

I made my way through and sat on the rock ledge that overlooked the valley. It had been our special hidden place for so long.

I dont know how long I sat there, breathing in the quiet air of the forest, letting it run through me and sooth my nerves.

And then a rustle in the bushes and she appeared by my side and sat down. Of course she found me. We knew each other too well.

She blew out a long breath and dropped her head in her hands.

"Shouldnt you be at the celebration" I asked quietly, a bitter undertone to my voice.

She sighed "Gale... Please. Just... Dont".

We stayed silent for a long time, as though we had nothing to say. But there was so much I wanted to say, wanted to ask and it hung in the air between us like a wall seperating what was once inseperable. Us.

She cleared her throat and whispered "I left just after you did".

I frowned at the sound of her voice and looked up to see her tears. It was only then I realised she was crying.

I had never before seen Katniss cry. She was always so strong. She had to be.

She never let anything get to her. She wasnt the type to cry, especially not in front of me.

"Why?" she choked out "Why did you leave?".

I grimaced. I didnt expect it to come to this already.

"Do... do you hate me?" she asked, and it almost sounded like a sob.

My heart felt like it was going to explode watching her fall apart. I was breaking her.

But I couldnt answer. My words were stuck in my throat like a silent scream.

The truth.

Would I ever be able to say it? Say it out loud, not hint at it and hope she understood the meaning.

Would I ever be able to tell her the truth?

"I hate me" she whispered and a tear drop slid off of the end of her nose.

"I will never hate you" I spoke quietly. It wasnt easy to talk about this sort of thing. It wasnt my area of expertise.

I didnt like feeling vulnerable.

She looked at me, searching my eyes for the truth that she wasnt sure she wanted to know.

It wasnt a lie. I didnt hate her. That wasnt why I left. I left... because of him.

Peeta.

When they were there, together, on the stage... I just couldnt look at them any longer. It was different when it was on screen, I could pretend it was acting, it was fake and that when she got home everything would return to normal.

It was all too real to witness it first hand.

The way he touched her, the way he kissed her, the way he looked at her...

He had everything I had ever dreamed about right there in his hands. I should be the one up there with her, I should have volunteered.

I should be the one that she loves.

As I love her.

I lifted my hand to her face and gently smoothed one of her tears away.

She looked at me uncomfortably and turned her face away, rubbing the tears away roughly.

"Good" she said, her voice clear and strong "Because I need to ask you something".

The moment of weakness, thats all it was, a moment, and then she reverted back to her old self. The cold, hard Katniss.

The Katniss that nobody crossed.

Her head snapped to the right all of sudden, scanning the area.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Nothing" she shook her head "Its nothing. I thought I heard something. Just paranoia. It feels almost like being in the arena here".

I shook my head, furious that I hadnt picked up on that. Of course this forest would feel different to her now.

No longer an escape, now it was a cage.

"Anyway..." she hesitated. I waited, letting the words come as they may.

"You know the stories better than I do" she looked at me almost guiltly "The stories about District 13...Was it- Was it really bad?".

I felt my jaw fall slack as I realised what she was asking me. What she couldnt say out loud.

"Katniss" I didnt know what to say "That is... insane".

"Dont you think I know that" she sighed "But maybe insane enough to work? Its time, Gale. This has gone on long enough".

I met her eyes as I contemplated what this meant.

"Its time" she repeated "And... I think I have a plan".

She glanced around and continued in a hushed voice, terrified her whispers would carry on the wind to unforgiving ears.

"Katniss..." I paused "You realise if we start this, there is no going back?".

"I know".

"There is so much more to talk about, to consider" I reasoned.

"I know".

"Youre sure about this?" I made one last attempt to make her reconsider, but I could see her mind was set in stone.

"Yes" she breathed "I am".

I nodded, mulling it over. She kept her gaze on me and I could feel it boring into my thoughts.

This was epic. This could change everything forever.

"Ok" I said at last deciding, standing up "Ok. Lets do this".

She smiled thinly and stepped into my arms, wrapping her thin arms around my waist.

"If you want to fight, I'll be right behind you" I said into her hair "I'll always have your back".

"It is time" she said simply. And I finished her thought in my head. Time for a rebellion...

Then she pulled away and smoothed her hair "I have to go. But we should talk more about this".

"We will" I promised and smiled a farewell as she left for the District. I had a feeling that she needed to get out of the forest. It probably reminded her of the games too much. So much would be different between us beacause of the games.

I stood staring after her for a moment, then sighed and turned to leave myself.

Suddenly, I heard a rustle to my right and I whipped around to see a figure emerging from the bushes.

"Katniss, what-" I stopped dead.

It wasnt Katniss.

I realised with a sick certainty that Katniss hadnt been paranoid. There had been someone there all along, hiding, listening, waiting...

I frowned when I saw who it was...

"What are you doing here?".

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**Who could it be? lol I wont say but I will say that this person is about to change the face of the rebellion forever!! Dun dun dun!!!**

**Ok, seriously. Everyone seems to be 50/50 about the Peeta vs Gale issue!!! I dont know which side I am on!!**

**Anyway, Please review and let me know what you think! I really appreaciate it! Thanks for reading!**


	4. Secrets

**Im sorry this chapter took so long! I have been really busy with end of year school stuff but it wont happen again because I am officially on Summer holidays!! Yay!!**

**This Chapter does not start off where the last one ended, that person will be a secret for now (teehee!). Its a little bit longer than the others so bear with me! Also, thanks so much to all who reviewed the last chapter, I think it has the most so far!!**

**Anyway, as usual please let me know what you think! Or if you have any ideas..! Thanks :)**

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Chapter Four - Madge.

I crept as silently as I knew how through the quiet streets. Twilight was upon the District and most people had gone back to their seperate houses for the night.

At least thats what we were supposed to do.

But tonight was different. Tonight some people were out and about, creeping through the streets, all heading for the same destination.

It was a secret, I had been told.

The meeting spread through whispers of mouth, from person to person, and there was no saying how many would actually turn up. Some disagreed with the notion, others agreed but were unable to sneak out or were afraid that the Peacekeepers would catch them.

It hadnt been easy to get out without my father noticing.

But he had been very busy lately, and I had stuffed pillows under the covers of my bed and prayed that he didnt come in to give me a kiss goodnight.

There was a chill in the air and I felt familiar doubt settle in as I waited to make a break for the meadow.

I shook my head, trying to clear it of all negative thoughts.

I needed to be able to think clearly tonight. Tonight was important.

A night that would go down in history.

I felt dizzy from trying to hold my breath, as it made white clouds in the air, signalling my whereabouts. I felt a tingle brush off my skin and the hairs on the back of my head stood up.

I turned, scanning left and right.

And thats when I saw him.

He sat almost casually on a bench at the edge of a small green, his bone structure thrown into harsh lighting by the overhead street light, making him look angry.

Maybe he was.

I padded closer untill I was a few feet from him.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered softly.

He jumped to his feet, startled, his eyes twirling in alarm untill they focused on me.

"Madge" Peeta breathed a sigh of relief "What are you doing here?".

I regarded him warily "I asked you first".

I had known him for so long, we had been in the same class in school for as long as I could remember. But these were dangerous times. It was hard to trust anyone.

Including yourself.

He frowned and gave me a strange look "I couldnt sleep". He sighed and sat back down.

I hesitated before I sat down beside him.

"I havent been sleeping well lately" he said quietly and I felt a tug on my heartstrings.

"Oh Peeta..." I whispered, unsure of what I could say, what I could do to make his pain go away.

I couldnt do it for him though. Only she could.

It was all for her.

He was silent for a while and then I remembered "So... so are you going...?".

My whispers suddenly sounded loud.

He looked at me intensly and said "Going where?".

Oh no.

"Havent you... I mean... Didnt you hear...?" I stuttered nervously. Was he supposed to know?

"Heard about what?" he frowned.

I swallowed and licked my dry lips. I had never said the word out loud and It hadnt been said to me either, just hinted at.

I couldnt say it. Not even then.

Rebellion.

If anyone ever heard, ever found out or witnessed or even guessed... I shuddered to think about what would happen...

It would be horrific.

"Theres a... a meeting tonight" I whispered.

"A meeting" he repeated mildly "For what?".

I looked away, then back at him, then away again. He really didnt know. Then, I supposed he lived in the Victor Village, maybe that was why he hadnt been told.

"Madge?".

I sighed "I- I cant exactly say...Its not something Im allowed to talk about...Do you understand?".

He shook his head, bewildered.

If it wasnt so serious, I would have laughed.

"Look" I whispered "I cant tell you. Not here. But I think that maybe you should come with me. You need to hear this".

Then it was his turn to look at me in suspicion.

"Just... Trust me" I whispered.

There was a heartbeat of silence and then he nodded slowly.

"Ok".

"Come on then, lets go" I looked up at the now black sky "We're already late".

I stood and started to creep away.

"But, wait!" he half whispered and I winced at the sound of his voice on the quiet street.

"What" I said so softly, it sounded like a feather drifting to the floor.

"Where are we going?" he asked as if it were the most obvious question.

If only he knew.

I turned and grinned at him through the dim light of the street lamp.

"If I told you that, Id have to kill you!".

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Despite my confident cover, I was a nervous mess inside. I had only a vague idea of where we were going and Peeta wasnt exactly forest wise either.

We'd be fine, though, I realised.

Peeta had survived the games.

Its almost funny how easy it was to forget that. Before the games, I had never regarded Peeta as strong or protective or street wise.

I guess I was wrong. You never really know a person.

I tripped on a raised underbush of the forest floor and felt his strong arms grab at my waist and pull me upright again.

His sudden closeness unerved me and I muttered a quick thanks, thankful he couldnt see my face in the darkness from the canopy of the trees.

We climbed a steep hill overun with thickets of bushes and suspicious looking trees. I felt like we were being watched and I kept turning around to make sure that we werent being followed.

I noticed Peeta also catiously scanning the area. The forest was thrown into shadow by the darkness of the night and the only light came from the moonlight that filtered in through gaps in the canopy.

I felt almost claustrophobic.

My breath came in shallow gasps as we climbed and finally, I saw through the protection of a group of trees, the light of a single torch shining in our direction.

That was the signal for the meeting place.

This was it.

We walked with a newly found curoiusity that pushed us to go faster. I slid through between two trees and my jacket snagged on something sharp.

It took me a moment to get it free and by the time I had emerged in the clearing, Peeta was already waiting for me.

He wasnt alone.

My jaw dropped as I took in the scene before my eyes.

We were in a large clearing, protected from the world by a thicket of berry bushes and tall trees. Furthest away sat a large boulder and beyond that lay the valley.

But it wasnt the scenery that surprised me. It was the people.

There had to be a hundred other people there, mostly of game eligibilty age, but I thought I also recognised a few nineteen and twenty year olds also. There were murmers of discussion taking place and it filled the clearing with a muted buzzing noise.

They were all sitting on makeshift chairs, such as logs, large rocks and even mounds leaves or dirt.

As I stood staring agape, something shifted in the atmosphere. Restlessness. Peeta grabbed my hand and pulled me down to sit on the cold ground, furthest back from the centre of the discussion.

"We've waited long enough" someone spoke loudly.

"Yes" said another voice "If anyone else was going to come they would have been here by now".

"We can spread the plan by word of mouth" agreed another.

The Plan?

"Ok, Ok" I heard a voice "I guess now is as good a time as any. You can turn that off now Reed, thanks".

I turned around slightly to see Gales younger brother turn off the torch that had led us to the meeting point.

If anyone else did come, they would have to find their own way.

"Ok people, listen up!" and then the source of the voice stood up on the boulder, in plain sight of everyone present.

My heart swelled in my chest.

Gale.

He stood, strong and powerful, commanding the attention and respect of everyone there instantly.

"So, we all know why we're here" he smiled " At least we think we do anyway...

We havent really talked about this for a reason. We cant. It is important that you understand now that this is our fight and no one else must know about it. This is a secret of the highest order...

If you do not think you can handle that, You should leave now". He paused for a few moments, but nobody moved.

"Ok" he nodded meeting the gaze of the audience head on "Then if we are to pull this off, you have to consider every possibility".

He paused. "And so here is my partner in crime to tell you what we have been talking about and to take some of your ideas" he finished and ducked off of the boulder.

Seconds later, she hopped fluidly onto the boulder and eyed the crowd. Katniss.

There were hisses of disdain and angry mutters almost immediatly. I felt Peeta freeze beside me. I thought I heard some people leaving, but I was too fixated on her to check.

She waited patiently for a calm to settle and she opened her mouth to speak.

* * *

"I know most of you hate me right now. For that I am sorry.

I never wanted this to happen and that is the honest truth.

But this, this is bigger than me and you. There is so much more to the picture.

And it will take all of us together to end this once and for all.

Make no mistake, we are at war. Ive seen it. Ive fought for my life and the lives others.

Just because we are losing doesnt mean it isnt happening.

The Capitol is taunting us!

And I for one, am sick of being used as a weapon to punish our ancestors..."

* * *

As she spoke, a gradual hum of agreement started to rise and I noticed a few people nodding.

She stood so powerful and sure, that everyones attention was riveted on her. And she met every gaze evenly.

* * *

"It is time to fight back!

But no longer in fear.

We will fight, in justice and in honour.

We will fight, not for each others death, but for each others safety.

For our families, for our friends, for our lovers.

We will fight, for our FREEDOM!

We will fight, for those who fought before us and those who will fight after we are gone.

We will fight, so that our children will not have to grow up in a world of fear and cruelty and death.

The adults have been worn down. They cant or wont rebel, so WHY NOT US??

They wont see it coming.

Its not the best plan, but its all we have.

It is time to fight back!"

* * *

She finished with gusto and her face was flushed from the passion she clearly felt for this cause.

She was breathing heavily, but she held her head high and shouted "Who's with me?".

I heard a shift and Gale hopped back up onto the boulder and stood at her right hand side. He gave her a look and she almost smiled.

"Who will fight with _us_?" she emphasized.

Silence. There was a heartbeat of dead silence... then another.... then ten more. I could hear my breath coming in and out, the rustle of the trees, the sounds of the forest...

And then...

"I am..."

There was a movement and I saw Katniss squinting her eyes at the person who stood up.

Except I didnt have to squint... because the person had been sitting right beside me all night.

Silence.

And then...

"Peeta..?"

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**Thanks so much for reading another one of my chapters and please dont forget to review!!**

**Ok. Its official. Im starting up my own team. Its going to be called Team Confused! If you dont know what to do about Peeta/Gale, you can join!! (Katniss's feelings are contagious... :D)**

**OH! Something else I wanted to know just if you have time. I dont have much experience with male perspective (which is probably really obvious!) and one of the reviewers mentioned I was too lovey dovey with Gale...**

**Should I tone it down a bit?? I dont know... I just think that even though they dont speak emotions out loud as much as girls, that they still feel it... but maybe thats wrong..??? Anyway, let me know if you get the chance!**

**Thanks again!!!**


	5. Burden

**Ok, I am truly sorry this took so long! Its just Ireland is currently having some crazy sort of heatstroke (ok, 30 degrees - but thats like SPAIN for us!) and I am on summer holidays so you can imagine...its insane! People are going mad and wearing shorts... IN IRELAND!!!!! :D**

**ANYWAY! Here is just a short chapter that I threw together in like fifteen minutes so its probably crap! (Sorry!) But its only a bit of a filler, nothing major... (the next chapter will be wild!)**

**Oh! Also, you are probably all getting seriously annoyed with the changing of POVs thing so I just wanted to let you know that I have now covered all POVs that I will be using (I think!) so I will be alternating between them but not in the same order as they are in now... but if anyone would like to request a POV that I havent used, feel free, Im open minded!**

**Thanks so much to all who reviewed!! It means a lot! Thanks especially to Montague Disciple who faithfully reviews every chapter and to gethsemane342 for all that helpful advice!**

**So thanks so much for reading and please review with your thoughts/opinions!**

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Chapter Five - Peeta.

There she was.

I felt a painful twist in my gut at the sight of her. But not a twist of hate. No. Despite everything, all the lies, the planning, the acting...

I still loved her.

Thats what hurt the most. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldnt turn it off, couldnt turn away, couldnt let her go. No matter how much she wanted me to. So I had just planned on avoiding her and hoping that with time and seperation, those feelings would fade.

But there she was. Everywhere. All the time. And then here. Leading our generation into an age of freedom and happiness.

Typical.

She just had to be a do gooder. I stared up at her from where I sat in the back row of the clearing in which the secret meeting was being held.

The meeting about a rebellion.

I almost laughed when I realised what she and... Gale... were proposing. That the children start a rebellion this time. No more adults. No more safety nets. That it was time we fought our own battle, suffered our own consequences... And I realised that as she spoke, she was convincing me and everyone else that this would work.

Seeing the look in her eyes and the passion in her voice, I truly did believe what she was saying. Even though I didnt want to.

"It is time to fight back!" she hollered and the words rang through my head.

She was right. It was about time we took a stand.

I looked up to see Gale smiling encouragingly at her as her gaze flickered from him to the crowd.

Blood boiled under my skin when I saw him standing at her right hand side. He was her safety net, her best friend.

He was her everything I would never be.

But where was he at the reaping? Where was he when she faced death over and over again. If I had been in his position, If I hadnt been chosen, I would have stepped up. I would have volunteered to sacrafice my life in order to keep her safe. He could have done it. Its not that good of plan that he wouldnt think of it.

But he just watched, as she stood against all odds, from the comfort of his home. On the telly.

He wasnt there for her when it really mattered. Why couldnt she see that?

"We will fight in justice and in honour..." she bellowed and I found myself nodding with some of the others.

"For our families, for our friends, for our lovers..." I felt a familiar twang in my heart as I noticed the sad look in her eyes as she scanned the crowd.

Then her eyes flitted back to Gale before she continued and I felt heat rise in my veins, anger pulsing throughout me.

"We will fight..." she continued.

Yes. Yes we will fight.

I will fight.

Fight for her.

"It is time to fight back!" she shouted one more time.

And I felt like she was talking to me. If Gale could fight for her then so could I.

"Whos with me?," she finished by asking.

Silence. Dead silence.

Everyone was all for freedom when it didnt mean that their lives were on the line. But agreeing to this meant putting yourself at risk.

Didnt they realise we were already in danger? The Capitol were picking us off one by one.

Or should I say by the two dozens?

There was a roaring of silence in my ears. Katniss shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. She glanced down at Gale at whispered something. He smiled. But when she looked back at the crowd, I wasnt watching her.

I was watching him.

And I saw something in his face, some sort of guilt or shame or fear.

I wasnt quite sure.

But it was there. And I had a feeling that he was keeping something from Katniss.

I had to stop him from hurting her.

My head was screaming all sorts of profanities at me as I tensed my muscles and slowly stood up.

I heard Madges head snap up to stare at me and as if she wanted to protect me, she reached up and clutched my hand in hers from where she sat. It was strange how familiar and comforting that gesture was to me.

Some kid beside us nudged his friend whilst keeping his gaze on me.

I swallowed and said in as steady a voice as I could manage "I am."

My voice echoed back to me in the void of silence.

A breath of a heartbeat passed and then I heard...

"Peeta?," her voice came in a deathly whisper but it carried down to me and wrapped me in its embrace.

The light in the clearing was dim since the boy beside us had turned off his torch so I stepped carefully towards her, untill I could see her face clearly. She looked at me as if I were a ghost. She jumped lightly off of the boulder, onto the ground. She took a few steps forward and then she was just an arms lenght away from me.

I could have done it. I could have reached forward and pulled her into my arms.

But she didnt want me to and I was painfully aware of Gales steady gaze on us.

"Peeta," she said again, only this time it wasnt a question.

And that was all I needed.

I was already filling the gap between us when she threw herself into my arms. I held on tightly, loving the familiar feeling of her in my arms, remembering what it felt like to kiss her.

And then I did.

Right there in front of Gale and Madge and every child in the Disrict, I pressed my lips firmly to hers and felt an electric shock run through me when I felt her move her lips with mine, kissing me back subtly. I clutched her face to mine, then reluctantly let her go. I smiled down at her, hoping to see the old Katniss.

But she looked at me through troubled eyes, awkward and uncomfortable. She swiftly stepped out of my arms.

"I missed you," I muttered and she nodded nochalantly.

She cleared her throat, shame burning in her eyes and I wished I could smooth the creases from her brow "So... so you're in?".

"Yeah," I nodded, keeping up with her unspoken rule of light-heartedness, when inside I was smouldering like dark coals, "I think I am."

"Me too," called a soft voice from the back and I saw Madge stand up to join me.

"Madge..." I grimaced up at her "Are you sure you-"

"I'm a big girl, Peeta," she said curtly, cutting me off "I can take care of myself". I opened my mouth to apologise or to try to talk her out of her decision, I'm not sure which but when I looked at her again, she winked and grinned. I smiled back, still unsure but I knew she wouldnt let anyone tell her what to do.

Katniss frowned, glancing from me to Madge and back to me again, but all she said was "Good."

The boy beside Madge stood up also and Gale said "Reed" in a warning voice. Which was when I realised the boy was Gales brother. He was the image of his older brother with the same strong build, the same grey eyes and dark hair, but his hair was slightly longer and shaggier and his eyes held a strange youthful yet wise glint of excitement and cheekiness. Reed grinned but stayed standing. He pulled his friend up too, to the small boys surprise and I almost laughed at the shocked expression on his face. One by one, they stood up, nearly everyone willing to put their lives on the line for freedom.

If we didnt fight for what mattered, what would we fight for.

Some stayed sitting, some left. But I wasn't angry or annoyed by this. If we forced them to fight when they didnt want to, we would be no better than the Capitol. No.

We would fight, as Katniss had said, in justice and honour.

"Im sorry Katniss," I heard a boy from the year below us murmer frantically "My little sister is only four years old....I just... I cant risk it."

She smiled reassuringly and told him it was ok. She thanked him for coming and wished his sister well. He thanked her afew times, before scrambling off into the darkness of the forest that reflected the District. She stared after him as if she were wishing she could follow.

I knew she was thinking of Prim.

When it all settled down, she looked around the fairly large group that we had assembled. I couldnt count the heads but I knew that even though this was a big group, it was nowhere near enough. We would need more allys if we wanted to overthrow the Capitol. Cunning allys. We would need the help of the other districts. I didnt think that would be an easy task to accomplish. But I was willing to try.

"Ok," she said, rubbing her hands together. Her eyes blazed and in that moment, she truly was the girl on fire. I knew then, that if I had never been chosen, if we had never even met, that Katniss would have won the games regardless... Because there is one thing that the Capitol doesnt seem to understand about her.

You dont mess with Katniss Everdeen and get away with it.

And she wouldnt let them get away with murdering people in her "honour". I knew by tone in her voice and the ghost of a smirk on her face. She had something up her sleeve. I stood to her left and Gale hovered over her right shoulder. I avoided looking at him. He was always close by, when she was.

I wondered if it would always be that way.

"Ok, lets talk about the plan..."

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**Thank you so much for taking the time to read and if you are about to review I seriously LOVE you!!! (Please review :( !!) I have the next chapter done already so I will be updating soon! But I like to get a few reviews per chapter so please review!! :D**

**ARRRGGHHH! Peeta, Gale... Gale, Peeta!!!!!!!!!! WHY???? Lol**

** A/N - Has anyone else noticed how the number of HG fics has slowly been rising?? YES! It is seriously unrecognised brilliance! I honestly think it is better than twilight... it just has to get more publicity!! Hmmmmmm....**


	6. Changed

**I promised an update and here it is! Hope you like it! The weather in Ireland is slowly deacreasing back to the usual - freezing - so I guess we've had all the summer we are going to get :( Typical!**

**Ok, so this chapter is a tad (well, maybe a bit more than a tad - Advanced warning!!) bit longer than usual but I just couldn't cut it down!! Sorry :D**

**BIG THANKS to all who reviewed the last chapter, it means a lot! **

**Thanks so much for reading and please review!!!**

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Chapter Six - Katniss.

I looked up at the sky as I crept through the meadow. It was clogged with dark grey clouds that made me feel like the sky was slowly closing in on me like a cage, just as the reaping was creeping closer and closer.

I surveyed the area once, then twice, then again... Nobody could see where I was going. I grimaced...

Where we were going.

Plodding behind me, as if she were purposefully trying to attract attention, was the one person I swore I would never involve in this dangerous world ever again.

Prim.

I sighed and motioned for her to keep up with me. My mother had gotten called out on an emergency. Some man, living at the other side of the District, had gotten badly injured in the mines... too injured to travel to her for treatment. So she had to go to him. And she would be gone overnight, but she had promised to be back for the reaping. Knowing nothing about the activities that the youths of the District were partaking in, she didn't see any reason why she shouldnt leave Prim with me.

I could.

But I couldn't tell her that. We had decided, that anyone, absouloutly anyone outside of the rebels shouldn't know what was going on. Just in case. Gale had gone to extreme measures to make sure that the people who had decided to not join the rebellion were keeping their mouths shut also. The Capitol had eyes and ears everywhere and it wasn't a risk we could gamble.

I swiftly slid under the loose sheet of fencing that had become even more worn from its recent frequent use, then held it up at the other side so that Prim could follow. She hunkered down and half shuffled-half crawled under the fence, awkwardly of course. But for once, her petit size was in her favour and she didn't injure herself before we had even reached the clearing.

I knew that by the end of the night, I would be a nervous wreck.

We quickly made our way up, though I had to slow down, or double back every now and again so that Prim could keep up with my pace. She gritted her teeth, determination lighting up her face. After all, she had said, I am almost a teeanger. Its not long untill I am thirteen.

I shuddered at the thought of her considering herself anyway remotly mature or prepared for the world. She had no idea what it was really like out there. No idea what evils lurked in the shadow of the Capitol. No idea what it was like to look death in the eye... And I would make sure that she never would know.

Finally, we pushed through the thickets hiding the "fort" as Reed liked to call it and I head Prim gasp under her breath. The clearing was a flurry of activity, as it had been for the last few weeks leading up to the reaping. And tonight, to make sure everything was ready, some of the rebels had agreed to stay overnight.

We had hoisted several makeshift tents from old blankets and forestries. Some for supplies, some for sleeping, and then the main tent... for everything else. I eyed that tent cagily and sighed. "You remember what to do?" I asked Prim.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, mother. I go to my tent. No leaving the tent, no talking to the rebels, no nonsense, no fun, no breathing..." she trailed off with a grin and I ruffled her hair playfully as she groaned and laughed.

But I said seriously, "You will never stop breathing on my watch".

She smiled thinly, her eyes fading into thought, then nodded tersley. She waved and quickly headed off to her tent. But just before she did, I saw something in her eyes. Fear, yes the fear was always present like a shadow you know you can't run away from. But I also saw something else.

Knowledge. Knowledge that burdened her soul. And... excitement. A small glimmer of excitement, but it was there and I knew that she felt it. And that scared the crap out of me.

That is what told me she wasn't ready for this world. Excitement over the unknown, when it should have been catiousness or anger or just plain fear. I shook my head, watching her slim figure retreat into her tent, and then I entered the main tent, pushing her into a corner of my thoughts, ready for action.

The first thing I saw was Peeta. Typical. He looked up from a station to one side and waved. I nodded briefly and looked away. It was clear he had decided to forgive me, if only for a while. But I wasn't sure that he should have... wasn't sure that I wanted him too. I often caught him searching my eyes, looking for answers. But those answers were not there yet and I knew that frustrated him.

Madge sat with him, their blonde heads bobbing in unison. I didn't like the way that he talked with Madge. They were getting too friendly for my liking. She was looking down at some sheets and telling him something. And he smiled at her when he knew she wasnt looking.

I was tempted to assign her to a suicide mission...just for the fun of it.

I headed over to Gale, so he could brief me on what I had missed. He was huddled in the far corner of the chaotic tent, leaning over a wooden crate that he was using as a table. He was surrounded by two of the nineteen year old tributes and Reed sat at his heels.

"What are those?" I asked, motioning to the crusty, yellow sheets he was examining.

"Maps," he grinned "Maps of all the Disticts. And look..."

"The Capitol," I breathed, squinting at the old map "Where did you get these?"

"A family heirloom," grinned Caius, one of the older rebels. He had harsh features and dark hair that made his smile look sinister. He would be an asset to the rebellion.

I nodded "Good. Keep it up". I smiled briefly at Gale before turning to a different station to help out, before others noticed my slacking. A couple of times during the day, I noticed Gale and Peeta run into each other on their errands, consisting of a hostile stare down and a slow retreat to opposite sides of the tent.

It was going to be a long night.

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The day burnt out like the wick of a candle and soon night was upon us. We were taking up shifts so that we could work through the night and get everything done.

I looked up from the station I was working on in the middle of my shift to see Reed mucking about, pretend sword fighting with a jagged branch that he'd obviously just pulled from a nearby tree.

"Reed," I barked, my patience long gone "Stop messing around. Go and check on Prim for me". I hadn't looked in on her in a couple of hours and at least this would make him somewhat useful. He scowled and bounded off to her tent.

When he returned... It was too quickly.

"Reed?"

"Eh... she's.... eh.... not there," he stammered and I knew from his face that this was no joke.

"What!" I shrieked, dropping whatever I had in my hands and breaking into a run "Prim!".

Oh no. Oh no. OhnoOhnoOhno. It was all my fault. My fault.

A million horrible scenarios blurred through my mind and I couldn't force myself to be optimistic.

"Prim! Prim! Pr-" I was shrieking, when...

"Yeah?" came her sleep laden reply and I turned frantically to see her standing near the supplies tent in her bedclothes, with a bottle of water in her hand. Her hair was sticking out in every direction and she rubbed her eyes with her free hand.

I stood still for a moment, waiting for my heart to restart, wanting to laugh and cry all at once.

"Oh, Prim," I sighed "Nothing.... Just.... Nothing. Go back to bed"

" 'Kay," she yawned and plodded back to her tent. What was I going to do with her? I groaned inwardly.

Smiling weakly to myself, I returned to the main tent and sought out Gale to tell him what had happened. But nobody had seen him. I frowned, positive that he had overlooked the shifts, determined to stay up all night. I went back outside and looked in the other tents for him, but he was nowhere to be found.

Then I shook my head as I realised where he must be.

There, at the furthest end of the clearing, he sat perched on top of the boulder, looking out over the valley. I smiled.

"What are you doing?," I asked, settling down beside him.

I almost laughed when he jumped, startled, about a foot into the air. "Waiting for dawn to break," he sighed.

"To break over a new day," I added and he smiled with me.

I sat there and tried to imagine what it would be like to live in a free world. It was hard to even picture it.

"You know," I suggested "Maybe in fifty years time, you and I will be sitting right here in this spot, looking out over a changed world. And we'll know that we did that. We changed the world."

I felt, rather then saw, him smile, but when I looked up, his eyes projected a more solemn expression. "If we both survive, that is," he whispered.

I didn't know how to reply to that. I couldn't think about it, couldn't comprehend a world in which that was possible.

But it was possible. Especially in our world. And we both knew it. I had seen many horrible things in the short span of my life, and his experiences matched mine almost evenly. We both understood that ours was a now-or-never, live-or-die, luck-of-the-draw life and things didn't always end the way that you wanted them too.

But there was something else to his voice, to his features... a haunted look that I didn't associate him with before then. He had seen something, done something, experienced something terrible that I hadn't. And it was there in his face, everyday. It was tearing him up inside.

"Look, Katniss," he whispered urgently "I want you to know, that no matter what happens-"

I hushed him with a playful hit on the arm, "Don't talk like that. It's all going to be fine. The odds are in our favour" I finished in the high pitched drawl of Effie Trinket and laughed but the sound was hollow and he didnt join in. I sighed. I needed that. I needed to laugh. It was the better alternative to fear and that had always been our escape.

Mine and his.

"It will be okay," I said solemnly. I wished I could believe my own words.

"No, but I need to tell you-"

I placed my fingers on his lips and silenced him, "Gale, stop worrying. We are both-"

But I never got to finish my argument.

Beacause suddenly, Gales head was blotting out my view as it moved closer to mine.

And then his lips were on mine and it was like being on fire all over again

His eyes were still open at first, so I was positive that he saw the flash of surprise that streaked through my eyes, before they drifted shut, unwilling to stay open. I felt his eyelashes flutter against mine as he closed his eyes too.

His lips were rough and ice cold, but somehow they ignited an intense heat, deep within me, that I didn't know I possesed. It wasn't like anything I had ever experienced.

My arms found the back of his neck of their own accord.

Our lips crashed together and his arms moulded my body to his, finally proving to me the strenght that he carried. I knew that in a fight, a real fight, he would easily overpower me. I felt him leaning against me, pushing me backward with him to the hard surface of the boulder, so that he was lying on top of me, his chest pressing against mine, our legs tangled together.

My breathing was hitched and just like when I had first seen him on the day I returned from the Capitol, everything was Gale, Gale, Gale. He was everywhere in the haze that had consumed my better judgement and I couldn't stop, couldn't think, couldn't... just, couldn't anything but him. I was drifting in the haze. Slowly losing myself to him, then...

Snap!

I heard a nearby twig breaking and it broke the spell. I gasped, my eyes flying open in alarm and jerked away from Gale. I scrambled away from him and stood quickly, my head whipping left and right, my gaze probing the area.

"It was probably just an animal," Gale said standing up and moving towards me. I noticed his voice was unsteady, his breathing heavy.

I took a quick step back. "I.... I.... I have to go," I stuttered.

"Katniss, we need to talk about this," Gale moved towards me again but I jumped back, out of his grasp.

"I need to... be somewhere," I said again. "Katniss..." he said frustratedly.

To my complete horror, I felt tears beginning to form in my eyes and I swiftly spun around and leaped off the boulder in one stride.

"Wait," he called after me but I started walking away quickly.

"There's something I have to tell you!" he cried.

"I have to go," I answered curtly, still moving.

"No, Katniss, wait!" he was yelling "It's not about this. It's about tomorrow..."

"Tell one of the other rebels," I choked out.

"Katniss, wait!" I heard him start after me, but by that time I was already running.

I ran faster than I ever had in the arena. Death I could face. But not this... not this. I reached the edge of the clearing, opposite the boulder, and leaped into the forest, still running. I ran and ran and ran... until I finally had to stop.

I collapsed onto the group, panting heavily and flushed, but not from the run. I lay there, listening to my heart beating in my ears and my blood gushing through my veins at hyper speed.

It wasn't until I had calmed down that I realised I could hear something else.

The murmer of voices.

I froze in position, my blood turning to ice in my veins, my limbs locking into place.

We had been caught. We must have been. Who else would be out here? Prim. Oh dear, sweet Prim. I am sorry I put you in danger.

Keep her safe, I pleaded silently, if all else is lost, keep her safe!

I held my breath, but silently I was preparing. I wouldn't go down without a fight. Then I noticed the dim outline of two people sitting on the ground not too far in front of me. I breathed in relief, they were young looking, probably rebels looking for somewhere to have a quiet break. I stood up.

I was just about to go over to them to tell them to head back to camp, it wasn't safe, when... they kissed.

I froze again, stunned. I could just make out the girls hands on the boys face and his arms were on her waist. I sighed and rubbed my eyes wearily. Things weren't getting any easier with all this romance in the air. Stupid, stupid romance that I always seemed to get wrong, that always seemed to mess up my life. As if I didnt have enough problems.

Then I saw something else that froze the blood in my veins, unwillingly, for the third time in the last three minutes. A flash of blonde hair. Two heads of blonde hair. An image of Prim was the first thing that crossed my mind... And then I see...

A sickening jolt electrified my body. They weren't just any boy and girl.

It was Peeta and Madge...

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**Ok, so thanks again for reading and I hope you liked it enough to review!!**

**I'm already working on the next chapter - The Reaping! - and there are some suprises in store and secrets to be revealed! Dun dun dun..! ****(Cue creepy music)**

**Anyone catch the preview of New Moon yet? What do you think??? (I also can't wait for HP6!!)**


	7. Knowing

**Hey everyone, its been a while since I updated so here is the next chapter! Hope you like it!**

**I'm sorry to all those who think I am too girly with Gale, I am not that good at male perspective but I need Gale to keep the story moving so hopefully its not too bad that you don't want to read it.**

**I just wanted to say thanks sooooo much to all who reviewed! I have over 50 reviews now and it seriously means a lot to me that you guys are faithfully revewing every chapter! I love you guys!**

**So thanks for reading and dont forget to review!**

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Chapter Seven - Gale.

The day had finally come.

The day we had planned for and agonised over and rethought over and over... was finally here. This was it. This day marked the start of the rebellion. The reaping.

I had been spending a lot of my time before that in the clearing, helping Katniss to lead the rebellion. There was so much that had to be done. But something didn't occur to me untill just before the reaping, something important that I should have realised before then...

I was still eligible for the games.

I was furious that the games had become a semi annual event for so many reasons, but not for the risk of my safety. I didn't even consider that I could be chosen to compete in the games. It couldn't happen, the rebellion needed me.

So while Katniss and Peeta took to the stage as the Districts famous couple, I took my place amoung the oldest of those eligible, awaiting the moment when Effie Trinket would reveal the tributes in that annoying high-pitched voice. I stood, distracting myself by coldly calculating the outcome, anticipating the next move of the rebels.

Darkness surrounded me, shrouded me in a fog of confusion, secrets and burdens that I could no longer bear. I stared up at where Katniss sat, side by side with Peeta, feeling a sense of deja vu at the sight of them together. But this time the situation was different in so many ways.

We had kissed.

Rather, I had kissed her. And it was perfect. She had kissed me back and it was like the light of the sun was finally penetrating the darkness that had been following me around ever since she had volunteered as tribute and I could feel the heat of its light on my skin. But it was even better than that. It was her light, her heat that mixed with mine and pulled me back from the brink of despair.

But she hadn't wanted me to kiss her.

She made no indications that she felt that way for me, we had not talked about anything like that. In fact, she had been talking when I kissed her and I registered the shock that filled her eyes. I had just given in to what I wanted when I had just gotten so frustrated. With her. With myself.

I couldn't tell her that I wanted her because to say it out loud was to condemn myself to a fate that maybe wasnt worse than being a tribute in the games, but still caused pain.

Unrequited love.

I could fight. I could hunt. I could kill.

But those two words sent a flash of dark anger through me that made me want to break something.

I had never considered anyone as more than an aquaintance in my whole life untill I met Katniss. I wasn't oblivious. Some of the girls in our school made it pretty obvious what they thought of me with their whispers and giggles. But then Katniss was there, barrelling through them all with her braid and her fiery eyes. And she was so different, so serious and composed. She didn't see me. But I saw her. And then again in the forest, strong and sure even at her young age. I saw her examining my snares and we started talking and then it was too late for me.

And so far it was consuming me in a madness that I had only read about before. I felt things that I had never thought possible or sane. It was insane. I was constantly angry and frustrated and angry and jealous and angry....

Love was dangerous and stupid and relentless and unrequested and unwanted but it wasn't something you could just shake off. Sure, you could hide it, bury it deep beneath the surface.

But eventually it came out. It was just a question of when.

But she had kissed me back. Her lips had moved against mine, her arms had wrapped around my neck urging me closer and I accepted willingly the closeness that had before been but a craving. Now a nesscesity.

_And then she ran away_, added a voice in my head smugly and I growled.

_So? She had... something to do..._ It sounded wrong even in my mind.

I had jumped on her and she couldnt stop me so she just waited for the opportunity to take off. Those were the facts and I realised that after what I had done, she maybe even... hated me. I considered that fact with heavy thoughts.

And yet... I had no regrets.

I looked up at the stage and watched her look lovingly into blondys eyes with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. But I also noticed how she glanced at the spot where I stood, frequently, her look something I couldn't decide upon. Longing or Disgust?

I clenched my fists, wishing beyond hope that I could somehow turn it off, stop the flow of this maddening river right at the source of the pain. But I couldn't just walk away.

Not from her.

As usual the mayor stepped up to talk about the games. As he did, he glanced into the crowd and smiled discreetly. I followed his gaze to see Madge smiling up at him. And when he turned away, she looked to the ground, guilt and fear emanating from her very gaze. No doubt feeling afraid about the plan, about not telling her father whom it was clear that she loved very much. But that could not be helped at this point.

Again, I felt a nervous shudder run through my mind but I shook it off. Details and maps and documents and decisions and so much more slammed around in my brain, forcing Katniss out for a moment, trying to get my body to realise that this was it.

This was the moment that would change everything forever.

Even if everyone didnt know it yet.

I glanced back up at Katniss and Peeta, sickened by their playful banter and stupid lovesick expressions. But I forced myself to focus. I looked straight at Katniss, unblinking, and tried to memorise everything about her at that moment.

The shine of the light in her dark hair, the glint in her eyes, the smile playing at her lips as her teeth were slowly appearing in her effort to smile.

Her last stint at happiness.

I was sure that I was the only one who noticed the dark circles under her eyes from a sleepless night, the rumpled clothes, the anxious swoop of the crowd when she thought the attention was focused on someone else, the way she bit her lip unconsciously as she always did when she was troubled....

But fake happiness or not, I realised that it would be a long time before I saw her smile like that again, so I memorised it and promised myself that I would never let it go.

Then the mayor finished up and gave the stand to the dreaded Effie Trinket.

"Well," she started with a strained smile that was plastered in lipstick that matched the colour of her hair "This is a very special day!"

_Yeah,_ I wanted to add, _special like a death sentence._

"Very special indeed. For one, I never thought I would request this District!" her chirpy laugh sounded hollow in the silence that followed and she cleared her throat as she realised her humour had fallen flat.

"But more importantly, it is the very first of our semi annual addition to the event, and of course, the seventy fifth hunger games!" she squeaked and I wanted to throttle her.

She twittered on about more unimportant details and I shifted impatiently on the spot. I scanned through the eligibles, untill I met the eyes of the person I had been looking out for and tried to comunicate with them through my gaze. I saw a distinct nod but it gave me no reassurance.

Then Effie was at the girls bowl and she was reading out a name.

A shudder went through the crowd as it always does and a small looking girl from the fifteen year old category stumbled onto the stage. Like a deer caught in headlights, her expression was frozen,her lower lip trembling and her fragile knees shaking in fear.

She wasnt anyone I recognised. But she was still somebody and I was sure that there was someone out there that she meant the world to. She looked much too small and delicate to be fifteen, but the hollowness of her face and the knowledge of her stare said otherwise.

But she was no fighter. And she definetly wasnt a survivor.

I felt a familiar pain as I wished there was something we could have done to keep her from experiencing this terrifying moment. But it would have been too complicated to do that, so we had to keep it simple.

Simply mad.

I thought again about the plan and kicked myself for the millionth time for agreeing to it in the first place. Why, why why? I gritted my teeth. That poor girl had done nothing wrong.

_It is all for the greater good,_ I thought over and over again.

There is no victory without sacrifice.

But how were you supposed to know if the price was too high to pay? What were you willing to sacrifice for victory? Was it worth it? Was it my sacrifice to make?

Those were the questions that had been jumping in and out of my train of thought for the last few weeks.

Effie smiled brightly at the girl and trilled on about how honoured and blessed she was to be a tribute. But her words meshed in my head with the roaring sound of fear and anger and frustration.

Maybe I could.... Maybe I should.... Was it too late to stop, to turn around, to change my mind...?

Yes.

It was inevitable as the day dying out to give way for night.

Then Effie said something else, addressing the crowd. Her voice raising higher than normal at the end of the statement. It was a question.

My heartbeat and the uneven sound of my breath were all I could hear for a moment. The silence that followed was long and drawn out and for one crazy second, I thought that something had changed, gone wrong or right or whatever it would take to keep it from happening.

And then...

"I volunteer!"

Every head turned in unison to the person that had called out.

Every head accept mine.

Because... because I had known it was going to happen before everyone else did.

That moment had played like a broken record in my head, tormenting me...

Ever since I had planned it...

There were some gasps and even cries, but mostly what followed was a stunned, disbelieving silence.

"I'm sorry," Effie squinted down through the crowd "Who was that?"

And then she stepped powerfully into the sight of every person present at the reaping, spilling her blazing light upon us all.

I met her eyes and nodded grimly. With a slight tilt of her head, she acknowledged my look.

And then she took a deep breath.

"Primrose Everdeen," she said "I volunteer as tribute."

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**Ok so thanks again for reading and please review!**

**Just wanted to add, if you love the Hunger Games, you'll love this film I just watched. It's called The Condemned. ----**

**Its about this guy who takes ten of the most ruthless killers who are on death row from prisons all over the world and drops them off on an island to take part in a live reality game called the condemned. The game is broadcasted on the internet and whoever wins, gets to walk free, fully exonorated. The rules? To win you just have to be the sole survivor before 30hours runs out...**

**I LOVED it! It really reminded me of the Hunger Games...**


	8. Grim Reapings Part One

**Hey everyone, this is the next update to the story. Some questions are about to be answered, but more questions will be raised!!! This kind of explains Prims volunteering...**

**Ugh... have you ever heard of Hayfever?? I have it and it really affects me during the summer :( Its so annoying! My eyes are always itchy.... ugh!! I'M BLIND!!!**

**WOW!! THANKS SO MUCH to all who reviewed!!! I have 66 reviews now and I have to say I really didn't think I would even get fifty so I am so grateful for all those who faithfully review every chapter and to the new reviewers, hopefully you'll come back! I love you guys x**

**Ok, so the usual... Please review! Also if you have any ideas to what you think should happen let me know...!**

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Chapter Eight - Prim.

Katniss kissed the top of my head briefly but held on to me. Peeta was waiting for her. He smiled at me and I returned it genuinely. The square was overflowing as it usually was this time of the year and I registered the angry stares that were focused on Katniss as if this were all her fault. An uncharacteristic anger simmered beneath the surface of my cool gaze and I wanted to scream at the people who blamed the girl who was going to lead them into a free future. She hadn't been sleeping well lately and I knew that she blamed herself for all of this.

It's ok Katniss, I wanted to whisper, I'm going to fix everything. I'm going to make everything alright again... But she couldn't know.

Not untill it was too late.

"Katniss," I said quickly "You have to go." Just do it. Quickly. Like pulling off a plaster. Maybe if it happens fast, it won't hurt as much.

She smiled reassuringly "I'll see you in a few minutes."

And I nodded with a fake smile lighting up my features. I was never good at lying but she was too preoccupied with all of her duties to notice how my smile didn't reach my eyes and how my bottom lip was trembling dangerously. That was good. The plan depended on her ignorance.

She held onto me for another minute, as though prolonging the moment as long as she could and I loved her so much for that, but the pain that was tearing me up inside was threatening to cause me to burst out with all of my secrets and I just wanted her to go before I gave it all away.

"Go," I rolled my eyes and laughed.

She smiled, nodding and let go, retreating to the stage where she took her seat beside Peeta and Haymitch.

I turned away from her and it was relief to not have to keep up that smile. I felt like I was dying inside. So much could go wrong and I had just gotten Katniss back.

I didn't want to lose her again.

Tears came so easy to me, but I had to keep them in. I had to keep up the pretence.

The fear was like a cold hand sliding slowly down my back, shocking and painful. Survival of the fittest? The strongest? The quickest? The smartest? Every year it was different. Who would the odds favour this year? Kill or be killed, that's what they said. What if I die? What if I kill? What if I'm not ready? What if this is a mistake? What if-

NO! I shook my head fiercly, trying to delay those thoughts untill I couldn't turn back. I made my way swiftly over to my section, the thirteen year olds roped off area. I smiled in rememberance of my birthday, a month earlier. Katniss had had Peeta bake me a beautiful cake and Gale had caught us a feast. We had all celebrated on the boulder in the clearing and it was the best birthday I could remember. I promised myself I would hold onto that memory... in the arena.

I looked up and met his eyes almost immediatly. Gale. His strong presence made me feel safe in the midst off all that danger. Are you sure about this? His eyes spoke to me. Are we doing the right thing?  
I nodded almost violently, but he still looked dissatisfied.

I knew I was causing him pain too, by going through with this. I saw him glance subtly at Katniss and I knew that this would destroy their relationship if she ever found out. Someone else I was hurting.  
But I had to do it. It was the only way.

I remembered that night, all those months ago, when this had started.

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I stumbled through the underbush, almost running to keep up with her. Katniss moved with purpose, no hesitation, no fear. The forest felt scary to me, but I had to talk to her and she had run off so suddenly that I followed her. She stopped suddenly and then dissapeared through a thicket of trees. I frowned and jogged up to where she had vanished. A thin shaft of light sliced through the thick green trees and I slid a hand through first, before sliding through myself.

I was standing in a clearing and at the far side, I saw Katniss and Gale sitting on a large boulder that overlooked the valley. It was magical. Gale? I was suprised to see him there, but then again, it was the forest. This was his domain, his area of expertise.

I hurried over to where they were sitting, and started to call out, but I stopped dead when I got close enough and saw that Katniss was crying. Big tears slid down her face and she looked away from Gale in shame. I froze on the spot, one arm still hanging in the air from when I had been about to call out to them.

No. No, this was wrong. My brave, strong, fearless Katniss didn't cry. This wasn't her. She was too strong for that. But I couldn't deny what was right in front of my eyes, even though it filled them with dread. The world truly was a terrible place if it had made my sister cry.

No... No... NO.

Katniss couldn't break. If she wasn't strong enough to face the world, then I was a lost cause. She was what kept me going.

I hunkered down onto my knees and shuffled forward, taking refuge behind a cluster of berry bushes. Lying down flat, I created a small hole in a bush to peer through and slid forward untill I was so close to them that I could hear what they were saying.

Katniss was no longer crying. She was strong and sure once again. "Good," she was saying "Because I need to ask you something."

I wondered briefly if I had walked in on a private moment between her and Gale, before dissmissing it with the image of Peeta in my mind.

My jacket snagged on a sharp point sticking out from the limbs of the bush and when I pulled at it, the body of the bush shook noticeably

I winced and ducked as Katniss's head swooped in my direction. I held my breath, cursing myself for not just making my presence known from the beginning. I heard Gale ask her what it was and after a terrifying moment, she said it was nothing. I sighed in relief.

It was a while before I was brave enough to peek up again, but my head snapped up unwillingly when I heard Katniss mention District 13. I frowned and concentrated on what they were saying. For a few minutes, I was stumped. Why were they being so vague? How was anyone else listening supposed to understand what they were talking about? And then I suddenly understood.

And I wished that I didn't.

"I think I have a plan," Katniss whispered. A plan for a rebellion, I understood. I swallowed nervously, a feeling of dread filling me up from the pit of my stomach.

She glanced around again, but this time I didn't duck and she didn't notice me. Then in a hushed voice, she told him all of the plans she had been formulating in her head and my mouth felt dry as I tried to wrap my head around it all.

I wanted to jump up and scream at her to stop it but it was too late then to tell her I had followed her. I had just gotten her back. How could she even think about something like that? How could she risk her life again, after only barely escaping death so recently? Did she not think about how this would effect me? I felt a sour bitterness swell in the back of me throat.

And then she said something that sparked my interest and frowning, I scooched closer to the boulder to listen. After listening carefully to that part of her plan, something began to happen.

A plan formed in my mind.

Dangerous, yes. Crazy, yes. Difficult, definetly. But worth it? Maybe... just maybe it would be.

I lay in my spot as they talked some more and argued with myself over the reasons why I should do this. But then again, Katniss would be out risking her life, why shouldn't I do the same?

Then they were hugging and Katniss was saying goodbye. I held my breath and closed my eyes, trying to become invisible as she walked away from the boulder, not four feet from me. I looked up and saw that Gale was still there, smiling after her.

Then he blew out a long breath and turned to leave.

"Now or never," I whispered to myself and I stood up swiftly and climbed onto the boulder.

"Katniss, what-" Gale started to say as he turned around, but stopped abruptly when he saw me standing there somewhat dishevelled.

He frowned, "What are you doing here?"

"I followed Katniss," I said simply and he raised his eyebrows as he considered that statement. Sighing, he sat back down and I walked over to sit beside him.

"Katniss will be furoius when she finds out," he pointed out.

"I know."

"I'm going to have to bring you back and tell her where you were," he continued.

"I know."

"You know, you are more like your sister than I give you credit for," he chuckled, but continued softly "So, you heard everything".

"Yes," I took a breath and then just said it before I could change my mind "And I think I can help."

"Prim-" he exclaimed disaprovingly.

"Wait!" I begged "Just listen. I heard Katniss telling you all her plans and how she wished there was something she could do in time to stop the next hunger games. I heard her say she wished she could put someone in the games who would rebel and unite the tributes against the gamemakers. But we both know Katniss would never put anyone through that."

"Of course she-" Gale was frowning.

"I want to do it," I finished frantically, cutting him off "I want to volunteer."

There was a dead beat of silence where he stared at me in disbelief and then he let out a sharp bark of laughter.

"Prim-"

"NO!" I shouted, startling him "I am serious. I can do this."

He shook his head angrily "What you're saying is ridiculous, Prim."

"It's not," I insisted "Not if you don't factor your feelings for Katniss into the equation. If you didn't know me, if I were just another person willing to put my life on the line for the greater good, you'd see that this could work. That it could save so many lives!"

"You're too young," he argued quietly.

"Not to help," I snapped "I want to help. I need to play my part in this, Gale. And besides, who do you know that can unite people better than me. I'm perfect for this, I'm easy to trust."

He opened his mouth again to say something else, then stopped and reconsidered.

"Please, Gale," I whispered. Don't talk me out of something I haven't talked myself into yet, I added in my head.

"Katniss would never allow it," he spoke quietly.

"Katniss doesn't have to know," I retorted and he stared at me unwaveringly as he mulled it over in his head.

"Gale," I whispered after a few minutes, using something he had once said against him "There is no victory without sacrifice."

Silence.

And then he nodded.

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I spent the remaining short months leading up to the games in secret training with Gale. Of course, Katniss could never find out. He often brought me over to his house, to practice in his back garden,  
whenever Katniss was busy with Rebellion details.

"Arm straight, elbow lower," he'd instructed quietly as I warily aimed an arrow at a target he had set up.

I nodded shakily and sent the arrow flying, but it hit much lower than the bullseye that I was supposed to be hitting.

I was useless compared to Katniss, I knew that, but he said he had a plan and that it didn't matter for now.

"You only need one good hit," he'd explained "One perfect shot is all it will take." Though that didn't make much sense to me at the time.

We both knew that the six months we had were not nearly enough, and they slid by too quickly. They were the hardest months of my life; Gale had to be extra hard on me as we had limited time, but I knew that if I even complained once, he would give up on the plan, so I stayed quiet and gritted my teeth.

Gale also taught me various survival skills that he considered essential:

Hand to hand combat, which I was terrible at. My small size meant that I had little weight on my side and could be easily tossed about.

Knife throwing, which I did get lucky at sometimes, so that was something.

Various hunting snares and techniques and some cool stuff like how to light a fire with limited resources and such.

Edible and dangerous plants knowledge. He often took me walking in the woods and got me to identify which was which amoung the wildlife.

I thought I was quite good at running and climbing but he insisted it wasn't good enough and made me run three miles a day to keep my fitness up. This made me tired a lot at first and I was terrified that Katniss would be suspicious but she was so busy at the time, that it didn't occur to her that something was amiss. It was ok, though. I knew she loved me.

I just hoped that she still loved me after she found out.

Though we didn't need to hunt in our District anymore because of the royalties Katniss brought home when she won the games, Gale still hunted regularly, as I suspected Katniss did too, and he brought me with him most of the time. That was the hardest of the training. I tried to explain to him that I was a healer, not a killer. But he told me that it was extreemly important that I get used to thinking like a hunter, to seeing death, because even if I suceeded, I couldn't save everyone.

I tried to digest this, but it was hard to swallow it in the first place. Mostly, I just watched him hunt, mimicking his light tread and his silent movements. He was scarily quiet when he wanted to be,  
so much so that he almost dissapeared into the background. But he started to make me hunt after a while... to kill helpless animals for nothing but experience.

I never cried in front of him, I waited untill I got home to do that.

It was just so hard to think like a hunter, like a killer. To be objective, cold, emotionless. But I tried my best in front of him, reminding myself that I talked him into this, not the other way around. But,  
to myself, silently, I promised that no matter what happened, I would not lose my emotion, I would lose who I was.

One day, Reed appeared at my house and asked Katniss if I could sleep over at his. I told her that we had become good friends and she consented. But really I knew it was Gale that wanted me. And that night, we slept in the woods with nothing but a coat to use as a small blanket and whatever resources the forest had to offer.

The second time, he'd made me stay alone. He didn't tell me until the next day, that he had slept nearby just in case. He had wanted to see if I could survive alone.

The time flew by, and I was sure I was ready but Gale wished we had had another month at least.

I was tired of all the lying and the secrets, so when the day finally rolled around, I almost felt relieved.

That was a first.

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And the moment had finally come.

I stared up at the small girl that Effie had called to the stage, where she stood trembling in fear, and I realised that I was no longer that girl. I wasn't the same Prim that was called onto the stage last time. I wasn't weak or immature or useless like before and maybe I was still scared, but that didn't mean that I couldn't do this.

Effie called for volunteers.

I was Primrose Everdeen. Sister of Katniss Everdeen, Victor. Girl on Fire. And I could do this. I could fight.

So with my heart in my socks and shaking knees, I called out as steadily as I could "I volunteer!"

Shocked silence... as people in the audience realised who had called out. Cries and whispers and murmered objections buzzed in the air.

But Effie said "I'm sorry. Who was that?"

I almost groaned out loud. It was hard enough to do the first time, but she was going to make me call out again.

Keeping my gaze off of the stage, I sucked in a deep breath and stepped out into the view of everyone present. More whispers.

I saw Gale nod painfully and I tilted my head in recognition.

"Primrose Everdeen," I called out clearly "I volunteer as tribute."

A wave of emotion washed across the crowd and I told myself that was good, it would help me in the games.

Then, bracing myself, I lifted my head and looked squarly at the stage. Katniss was going to be furious. I met Peetas gaze first, and it took me a moment to see that his distressed expression wasn't for me.

Frowning, I shifted my gaze slightly to the right, to Katniss.

I had thought she would be angry or sad or even frozen in shock.

But no.

It was even worse than that.

My gaze faltered on the place where she should have been sitting.

She was gone.

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**Once again, thanks so much for reading and I hope you liked it enough to bother reviewing!**

**So there is a second part to this chapter because it was getting too long haha an I'm working on it now so I will be posting it soon!**

**I just bought a CHERUB book: The Recruit, as recommended by a few people, it looks good....**

**Also the new Darren Shan book Dark Calling (DS ROCKS), and Untamed + Hunted, the new House of Night books....**

**Ok, I spend waaaaay too much money on books... I can't help it! Besides, I was in my favourite bookshop, Chapters, in Dublin!! Ah heaven....**


	9. Grim Reapings Part Two

**Hey peeps, here is the next update! Now, can I just say, I had an asthma attack because of my hayfever and I wrote this chapter whilst on a nebiliser (this mask thingy machine) so I apologise for any drug induced madness that this chapter may contain. :D**

**I realise that I have gone OOC with Prim in this, I'm trying to make her a little more mature (aka sarcastic) but I am trying to keep her Primness intact so if you hate the changes that I have made in her will you please let me know :( **

**OMG.... 82 reviews. Holy bleep. THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH, I LOVE YOU! x I never thought I would get this many reviews full stop. And the last chapter was the most reviewed of all of them so far. Wow. I want to thank Myst (aka xX-ATwiNaturalHungerForVic-Xx) for reviewing every chapter in a row. You really gave me a boost! I also want to thank the new reviewers and I hope that you like the fic enough to keep reading.**

**And, as usual, thanks to my faithful reviewers who always let me know what they think - gethsemane342 Montague Disciple daydreamingxxx x-FruitySkittles-x PeetaMellarkLove and tweetz1**

**Ok, I have rambled enough! Thanks for reading and please review!**

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Chapter Nine - Prim.

Gone.

How could she be gone?

I stared in confusion at the empty chair that Katniss had sat in only moments earlier, shaking my head. Then I felt a sharp nudge in my side, prompting me forward, and I realised that I had been standing frozen in front of the crowd as they waited for me to mount the stage and claim my title.

Squaring my shoulders, I quickly bounded up onto the stage and smiled at the young looking girl whos name had just been chosen. She looked like I felt on the inside. She was in shock but she gave me a wobbly smile and without hesitation, leapt off of the stage into her mothers waiting arms. For a moment, I watched as they embraced, her mother sobbing and stroking her hair, holding her closely. A hard lump stuck in my throat and I licked my lips, swallowing slowly.

Then I looked around the stage and noticed that Effie was standing still, with the slip of paper still in her hands, her mouth hanging slightly open. Keeping my ready smile in place, I crossed the stage and took my place behind her to wait for her to announce the boy tribute.

I had a sense of deja vu for a moment, but then it passed and I scolded myself. I was a different Prim now. A stronger Prim. I was wearing an old dress of Katniss's, a sturdy forest coloured dress that fell just above my knees and I had adjusted the size of it by wearing a belt, tight around my middle. I was not the same girl as before and I almost felt smug at the fact the I had a secret from the Capitol,a secret that would change the world. But I stamped out that feeling as Gale's voice rang clear in my head.

_Never get cocky. No matter how good your odds are, the tables can always turn, and you need to be ready for that._

Ready. I needed to be ready for anything.

To live.

To fight.

To die.

It was the not knowing that hurt the most. I wished I could just fast forward to the end of the nightmare, no matter how it ended, I was tired of waiting for answers.

I nodded at Hamitch who had looked slightly tipsy before but was now alert and wide-eyed. He mouthed something that looked dangerously like "Sweetheart?". Peeta sat beside him looking defeated somehow. He searched my face in confusion but I avoided his bright eyed gaze and turned my attention back to Effie.

She still stood with her mouth open, staring at me, her pink wig looking a little lopsided.

She shook her head, her fake pink curls bobbing with her, and came out of her daze, saying, "Yes... Em... Yes, of course. And..."

"The boy," prompted the Mayor, looking a little dazed himself.

"Yes!" she exclaimed again and practically ran to the bowl to read out a name.

The name sounded vaugely familiar but not someone I knew personally. The boy, who was fourteen, I had seen before around the square and I smiled apologetically as he started up the steps, but he didn't acknowledge me and I could feel despair emanating from him in waves.

I know how you feel, I wanted to tell him. But I knew that wouldn't help.

At least we would be in this together, at least we were a team and not seperate competitors, at least this year I had a plan that would make the games very different to previous years...

At least..."I volunteer too. I'll be a tribute!"

My head shot up from the floor of the stage and I scanned the faces that were in the direction of where the voice had come from.

And thats when I saw him...

And my heart plummeted.

My last thought had about to have been - At least this boy someone I can work with - and I knew I would have to take that back...

Because standing casually to the side of the fifteen year olds section, with one finger in the air as if he were in school and an almost bored expression on his face was...

Reed.

There was another one of those horrible silences, the ones where everyone present holds their breath in anticipation.

And then the boy, whose feet had barely touched the stage, let out a strangled cry and ran from the stage, stumbling over his own feet in his haste. He didn't stop running when he touched the ground, he kept going, past the eligibles, past the crowds, past the peacekeepers and out into the horizon... into freedom. Soon, I hoped, everyone would feel that way.

They let him go. He was no longer a tribute, so it didn't matter that he ran. He would come back on his own. He was no longer in danger.

I watched as his retreating silhouette got smaller and smaller untill finally, it vanished.

Then I snapped back into reality as I watched Reed hop over the rope and stroll, his hands in his pockets, up onto the stage.

I wasn't the only one who was stunned.

"Wow," Effie exclaimed toothily, trying to get the crowd going, "It looks like this is going to be another exciting event for District Twelve."

Reed ran a hand through his shaggy hair and slouched over to stand beside me.

I looked at him in disbelief.

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry/

Then Effie was twittering on about something in her excited voice but it was like a humming in the background for all the sense it made to me. I was trying to take my eyes off of Reed but he apparently was too busy brushing imaginary lint off of his clothes to notice.

I waited untill the Treaty was being announced, aware of the constant stream that the cameras were picking up, then I, as subtly as I could manage, stomped on Reeds right foot.

He yelped and jumped in the air, but I got the desired result... he turned and looked at me... like I was insane, but it was something.

"What the _hell_," I hissed through gritted teeth "are you doing?"

Reed shrugged and rolled his eyes, "What does it look like? I'm volunteering."

I sighed in frustration. "Yes," I mentally counted to ten "But why?"

He smirked, "You are so oblivious."

I sent daggers at him with my eyes and I was pleased to see he looked slightly alarmed.

"Did you really think that Gale was going to let you go it alone?" he whispered.

I opened my mouth to retort furiously that I could take care of myself, but he cut me off.

"He was planning to volunteer," he shocked me by saying.

I opened my mouth but no words came out. I turned my head back to face the audience, determined to keep up appearances whilst the cameras were rolling.

"But I convinced him that the..." he looked around quickly and mouthed rebellion to me, but said "You-know-what needed him. So, long story short? I offered to volunteer instead."

I felt ashamed, naiive even that I didn't see what Gale had been planning. Of course he didn't think I could do this on my own, of course he thought I needed someone to look after me, Of course he didn't trust me... Why did I think that he would?

But something was nagging me at the back of my head.

I spoke without turning my head, "But why you?"

I knew by his voice that he was frowning, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I get that Gale is needed here but why did he choose you to go with me? Why not some crazily strong, eighteen year old? Why you?" I wondered out loud.

The treaty finished and the anthem began to mark the end of the reaping, but I looked at Reed, waiting for an answer.

He hesitated, looking serious for the first time in... well, ever.

But then, he grinned suddenly, returning to his old self and simply said, "Why not?"

I was about to hiss something unintelligent at him but at that moment, I felt a large hand clamp down on my shoulder and looked back to see Haymitch standing behind us, a slightly alarming grin on his face. He leaned down closer, as though to wish us luck, and I recoiled at the strong smell of whiskey on his breath. He had Reed by the back of his neck and he pulled him closer too.

"Stop bickering," he smiled for the cameras "You're a team now. It's time to act that way"

He squeezed my shoulder, hard, and evidently Reed's neck too because we both grinned widely, unwillingly. Then he stepped back behind us, but not before giving me a sharp prod in my back and I looked up to see the Mayor frowning at us. I realised then that Reed and I were supposed to have shaken hands at the end of the Treaty, but we had been too busy to notice.

Grinning stupidly, I quickly threw out my hand towards Reed. He left it hanging there in the air for a minute, just staring at it and I was sure I heard a few laughs from the audience. I met his eyes and gave him what I hoped was a death stare. He shrugged, grinning for real this time, and reached out and slapped my hand.

I stared at my hand, which was still in the air, in disbelief for a minute. There were definetly laughs now. Furious, I put my hand back by my side and vowed silently to get him back for that.

"Congratulations to District 12's new tributes," Effie squeeked "And may the odds be ever in your favour."

Then the anthem ended and Reed and I were taken by the Peacekeepers directly to the Justice building as cameras zoomed dangerously close to our faces. We stopped at a door to the right and one of the Peacekeepers grabbed Reed by the shoulder and roughly pushed him into the room. I got a glimpse of the room and nearly gasped. It was beautiful. Just before the door slammed shut, I caught a look at Reed. He smiled crookedly and winked just as he dissapeared behind the door.

I felt like sticking my tongue out at the closed door, but I didn't think that would be good for the mature image I was going for.

We stopped again at a similar door a few feet away and I quickly stepped inside before I could get pushed in. The door slammed shut coldly and it sent a shiver up and down my spine. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm myself down so that I wouldn't break down now that I was out of the way of all those prying eyes.

I opened them again and took in the view. And boy, was it a nice view. It was the prettiest room I had ever been in. Katniss had told me about these rooms but I didn't think that they could be so rich and clean looking.

It brought me back to when Katniss had first returned from the Capitol. She had secured us a house in the Victor Village and though I was happy about that, I was still sad about leaving our old house behind. It wasn't much, but it had been home for a very long time and I had so many memories there. So what if it wasn't the shiniest pebble in the garden, it still meant something to me. Kind of like when I persuaded Katniss to keep our cat. He wasn't the most beautiful cat but I loved him.

And when we moved into our new house, I couldn't believe that something so new and light and pretty was our home. But Katniss had told me that it was nothing to the rooms in the Justice building, nothing to where the Mayor lived, nothing to the Capitol.

I don't think that she ever thought I would find out first hand.

All the memories, and the situation and Katniss... I just wanted to cry so badly but I knew that I couldn't. I couldn't wait and go home to cry anymore. I had to keep my head in the game. Crying wasn't an option. And it was hard, because tears came so easily to me but Gale had told me that crying would destroy the only plan I had going for me.

It could mean the difference between life and death.

Katniss never let anything affect her. I had to be like Katniss. But hers were very big hunting boots to fill...

Katniss.

Now that I was alone, I had time to dwell on what had happened. I sat, deflated, on the nearest velvet plush chair and sighed into my hands. Where was she? How could she just leave at a time like this? Whatever was going on, I knew that Katniss was always there for me so I would see her soon.

Besides, she was my new mentor.

Oh god.

That was going to be interesting.

And there was no way that Katniss, my Katniss, would let me get away with something like this. She had a short temper and she knew how to use it.

And just as I was thinking that, there was a creak and the door of the room swung open and hit off the wall with a loud bang.

Startled, I jumped to my feet and turned to face...

Gale?

I felt weak with relief.

"Gale!" I exclaimed happily as he stepped into the room, his woodsy scent filling up the air, "I thought-"

My voice halted abruptly when I saw the look on his face.

Determined... Resigned... Apologetic...

And Katniss stepped out from behind him, her face set with the fury of a thousand fiery suns...

And thats when I realiesd the irony of it all.

The girl on fire was going to burn me alive.

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**Ok, thanks for reading and I hope that you review!!**

**HELP!!!!!!: Does anyone have any ideas for good names? I will need a good few for the games/rebels etc. Input is greatly appreciated.**

**Dont Forget - Was Prim way too OOC?? Ps. Any thoughts on Reed??**

**ODD FACT: Michael Jackson is dead... Weird huh? I just found out... RIP**


	10. The Five Stages

**Hey everyone! I'm back! From where, you ask? Well, the thing is, I meant to post this chapter before I left, explaining that I was going on holidays and wouldn't be able to update for 2 weeks, but of course I left it till last minute and I was literally finishing the chapter about 2 minutes before I had to go to the airport, so I didn't get a chance to post it! I hope you guys aren't too mad with me :) and that I haven't lost any readers...**

**I went to Tenerife and it was brilliant, but I did miss home. Even though it was raining when the plane landed. Typical Ireland!**

**Anyway, please read and review. Hope you like it!**

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Chapter Ten - Katniss

"Katniss, you have to go," she told me.

Prim seemed much older in that moment somehow. "I'll see you in a few minutes," I smiled warmly.

But I didn't let go.

She smiled brightly. "Go," she laughed, rolling her eyes and giving me a playful shove.

I held up my hands in surrender. Smiling to myself, I climbed up onto the stage and sat down beside Peeta and Haymitch. Haymitch grinned sluggishly at me, sloshing the flask of whiskey in his hand and a few drops landed on Peeta. I grimaced. Good old Haymitch. You can always depend on him to be himself. Peeta smiled thinly and rubbed the droplets off of his skin with the back of his hand.

"It's weird," he mused.

"What is?"

"Don't you feel it too?" his blonde eyebrows rose skyward, "I keep thinking I am going to get used to being up here, but it's like six months ago all over again. I just can't relax. My muscles are in fight or flight mode."

I knew what he meant. It was like we were being sent back to the arena again, and it took everything in me to stay sitting in that chair. My hands were itching with the loss of a weapon and my leg muscles were tensed to spring. It felt like being caged in.

"Yeah," I muttered, "It is weird."

Maybe Haymitch wasn't so far off with the drinking thing. I would welcome anything to numb this feeling.

"How are we going to do this?" I whispered to Peeta, "How are we going to train these kids, knowing that they could die right off the bat?"

His bright eyes looked at me hollowly and I knew that he was feeling the same things that I was. He shook his head slowly. I sighed. I had so many things crashing around in my head. I had to do this and I had to help with the rebellion. It was going to be tough. Thank God I had Gale. He would lead when I couldn't.

Peeta sighed and turned his attention back to the reapings. I studied his profile from where I sat. He had classical features; a straight nose, clear white skin and high cheekbones. It was almost as if he had been carved from marble. But the bright blue eyes that mirrored mine and the blonde hair that tufted out from the top of his head said otherwise.

That thought caused me to flash back to the night before. To when I had last had a glimpse of his blonde hair. Along with another blonde head.

Madge.

I stared at Peeta in confusion, not bothering to be discreet. After all, we were supposed to be in love. And Peeta was supposed to love me for real. I was supposed to be the one with the problem about that. I was supposed to be the one who was unsure. Not him. I sighed. Maybe he had just gotten sick of me. Maybe the sense of closeness that the games had caused us to feel had finally worn off for him... and that was a good thing... right?

Do you love her?

Are you thinking about her now?

The irony of the situation suddenly seemed funny and I wanted to laugh. But I realised it would seem strange to be seen laughing in the middle of the reaping. As if I didn't already have enough enemies.

I searched Madge out in the crowd and found her standing with her age group, gussied up in a beautiful blue dress. I noticed the Mayor kept glancing at her worridly. So strange it was to be at the reapings and to have nobody to fear for. I knew that Prims name would be entered twice this time but the odds of her being called out again were second to none.

Following that train of thought, I found myself seeking Gale out too.

There he stood in his dead silence, his grey eyes meeting mine almost immediatly but his gaze flickered away before I could communicate anything with him. I sighed frustratedly. It was only then that I noticed Effie had called out a name. Swallowing my fear, I turned my gaze to face the girl who I would be training soon enough.

It was worse than I had expecteed.

She was tiny. Insufferably dainty, her body didn't live up to her fifteen year status. She was trembling all over and her folorn expression was frozen on her face. I could see it wouldn't take much to make this girl cry and that meant bad things for her. I turned away disgusted, no longer able to watch the false hope of the District that this girl would come back alive.

I was seeing red and my anger was threatening to bubble over the surface of the mask I was portraying. I took in several deep breaths and closed my eyes, trying to calm down.

That poor girl, her family-

I hadn't heard Effie call for volunteers, but suddenly a voice was calling above all the noise.

"I volunteer!"

I felt everyones attention shift to the same place in the crowd.

I frowned, opening my eyes and just as I was about to turn around to face the audience, a hand snaked swiftly in front of my face and covered my mouth and another hand wrapped around my waist and pulled me roughly behind the stage, away from everyone else's view.

I didn't think. I just acted.

Concentrating, I pushed back against my attacker instead of pulling away. He wasn't expecting that and it threw him off balance. I slammed my head back into his, whilst simultaniously stamping on his foot. I heard a low grunt and then I bit down sharply on his hand and before he could react, spun out of his grasp. But I didn't run off. I knew I wasn't top notch at hand to hand combat but the attacker was fazed from when I head butted him, so I whirled around and grabbed him by the throat, pushing him up against the wall as hard as I could.

It was only then that I got a good look at him.

"Gale!" I exclaimed in disbelief.

I let go of him in shock and he slumped against the wall a little bit.

"Nice moves," he croaked.

"Gale, what the hell are you-" I shouted but he cut me off.

"Shhhhhhh!" he hushed, putting his hand over my mouth again, but I slapped it away in anger.

"You have to be quiet," he explained "You don't want the cameras finding us back here. Right now, everyone is distracted and I'd like to keep it that way."

"But I have to get back to the reaping", I hissed, "I have to-"

"Forget about that for now!" he hushed, and I was getting very mad that he kept cutting me off.

"Gale, what is going on?" I asked through gritted teeth.

He said nothing for a few minutes. He just stared. Then suddenly, he reached up with his hand towards my face and for some reason, I thought he was going to hit me so I flinched and grabbed him by the wrist. But he relaxed his hand in my grasp and simply touched my cheek with his palm.

"Gale," I said warningly, "What-"

Then his head suddenly swooped in to meet mine and he covered my lips with his own. He kissed me fiercly, and I was so in shock that I just went limp in his arms and let him kiss me. I went still as a statue, and waited for him to stop.

When he did, I pushed against his chest with my hands and stood away from him.

"This is why you pulled me back here?" my voice sounded shrill, "This is what you want?"

"Yes and no," he said softly, "This is what I want, but it's not why I pulled you away. I knew I had to get you out of there."

"Why?" I demanded, perplexed.

In silence that followed, a voice rang out in my ears, stunning me into a state of shock.

But it wasn't Gales voice.

"Primrose Everdeen," I heard her voice clear and strong, "I volunteer as tribute."

And then Gale clamped his hand over my mouth again, but this time I didn't fight it off.

I was too busy screaming.

"Katniss!" he pleaded desperatly, muffling my scream, "Please be quiet. It's ok. Everything is going to be ok."

My scream ran dry and he pulled me into him as I hyperventillated into his shoulder.

"Gale," I gasped, "No.... Stop. Let me go. I have to.... I need to... No. ."

Denial.

I struggled against him, but he held me tightly in his grasp. "It's ok," he kept whispering over and over.

"HOW IS IT OK?" I shrieked and he winced at the volume of my tone, but apparently everyone else was too distracted to have heard me.

He didn't answer.

Because it wasn't ok.

It would never be ok again.

"What are you doing?" I shouted, "Let me go. I have to go stop this. I have to stop her. I need to save her!"

But his grip on me never wavered. "It's ok," he explained, "Because I have a plan."

That stopped me dead and I felt a sudden swell of hope.

Gale. Gale had a plan. Of course he did. Gale always had a plan.

I stopped struggling and it took me a moment to calm my screaming nerves and fight the impulse to hurt someone.

"You have a plan," I said in a small voice.

"I have a plan," he smiled thinly, "Now, follow me."

So, forgetting the rebellion and the reaping and everything except fot Prim, I followed Gale. I had expected some sort of elaberate plan that involved climbing and sneaking and fighting, but instead Gale pulled a dark hat from his pocket and slapped it on my head.

"Tuck your hair in," he instructed and I did so in confusion.

Then, taking my hand, he led out into the crowd, the crowd that was gathered furthest from the stage. The people who had nothing to do with the reaping, but were just there to watch. And watch I did. The anthem was playing and Prim stood up on the stage, looking at her fellow tribute. My heart caught in my throat at the sight of her up there. I felt Gale stiffen beside me and I frowned. It was only then that I realised that Reed was also up on the stage.

As a tribute.

I started to gasp but Gale shot me a warning look. So we both had an equal motivation to stop this, I thought. Prim and Reed were muttering something to each other, then they looked around and noticed the crowd. Prim stuck out her hand to shake and Reed slapped her what looked like a high five. I groaned inwardly. What were they up to?

Then the anthem ended and they were both immediatly led into the Justice building. My head was screaming profanities at the sight of her blonde head dissapearing into the building, insisting if I didn't get her now, that it would be official. But I stood my ground and waited, trusting in Gale. He would find us a way out of this.

"Ok," he whispered, "Come on."

We walked straight up to the door of the Justice Building and Gale adressed the Peacekeeper on the door and told him we were here to say goodbye to the tributes. At first, he wouldn't let us in, but in impatience, I whipped off the hat and let my hair loose. I saw instant recognition in his eyes and I snapped that we were the family come to say goodbye.

"Second on the right," he told me sympathetically, and I noted the glint of fear in his eyes. I nodded a thanks and followed Gale inside.

Inside, it was just as I remembered and I felt a familiar feeling of being trapped and alone. We stopped outside the door, and I reached in and hugged Gale, acting as if I were unable to go on. Another Peacekeeper was watching us from the end of the hall.

"So, what's the plan?" I whispered into Gale's shoulder.

"We go in and talk to her," he said neutrally.

"Yes, but-"

He pulled away. "I'm sorry Katniss," he avoided my eyes, "But this is the plan. It's already going accordingly."

I did a double take.

"I... I don't understand..." I frowned, trying to meet his eyes but they were glued to the floor.

"We planned it," he said hollowly, "We planned all of it. Prim and I. She was supposed to volunteer. I helped her. I've been training her for months now."

I felt fear slam into me with brute force.

"What?", I choked out.

But before I could get anything else out, he opened the door and ducked inside. I didn't give him a chance to say anything. The anger that had meerly been simmering beneath my surface exploded in a deadly eruption. I stepped into the room, stepped around Gale and locked eyes with Prim. Her expression reminded me of a deer Gale and I had once cornered in the forest. Right before we killed it.

"What. The. HELL. Were. You. Thinking?" I asked quietly, dangerously.

"Katniss, wait, just let me explain. I-" she pleaded but I cut her off.

"Gale already explained your plan," I spat, "Your foolish, reckless plan. Do you realise how much could go wrong? Do you realise you could get killed!"

"I already went through all of this with Gale," she sighed, "I'm ready for this, Katniss".

"NO," I screeched, "No, you are NOT ready for this. You have NO IDEA what it's really like in there. This isn't a game Prim, this is your life!"

Anger.

"Don't you see," she was shouting then too, "That is exactly what this is. A GAME. I just have to play it right and everything will be fine."

We were standing eye to eye, huffing with effort from our shouting and Gale stood gingerly to the side. I would deal with him later.

"I won't let you do this," I said through gritted teeth.

Then she smiled at me and she looked like a different person to me. It was a sad, but wise smile that spoke of years past and it burned into my mind.

"You don't have a choice," she said simply.

I stared at her in disbelief, a thousand emotions bruising my mind.

"Prim," I warned.

She couldn't... She just couldn't...

I couldn't stand by and watch her die.

I wouldn't.

"Maybe there is something, some rule or loophole that can get you out of this," I reasoned out loud with myself, "Or I could volunteer to go instead of you. Yes, the Capitol would love a chance at revenge, they would allow the switch".

Bargaining

Prim and Gale said nothing, they just looked at each other and then back at me and I felt something I couldn't quite name when I registered their looks. Pity. It filled my mouth with a vile taste and I wanted to get sick. Gale started talking but all I heard was a loud roaring in my ears, as if I were falling, without anything to hold onto. I only realised I was crying when I tasted the salt on my lips. Gales voice faltered, then stopped completly. He look at a loss for words.

After all, what were words, only sounds that lose meaning in the face of action.

"It's too late," she whispered and I saw that she was crying too, "It can't be undone."

I nodded miserably. "I know," I croaked, "But Prim, you are my sister. I have to try to do something. You are my world. If you die.... so do I."

Depression.

She smiled sadly through her tears and reached up to brush a tear from my cheek. "Well then," she sounded more composed than I did, "Lets both of us live while we can. You don't need to try anything. I'll be fine. You just stay here and .... and follow your heart. Trust your instincts."

In that moment, it was as though our roles had been reversed. She was the older, stronger sister. I was the younger, scared sister. Or maybe both of us were the strong sisters, sharing a weak moment. I don't know when she made the change. I don't know how she grew up in front of my eyes without me really noticing. She was strong. And brave. And loyal. And true. Worthy of so much more than this, but not caring none the less.

I pulled her into my arms. "How will I know you're safe?"

Acceptance.

"You're my mentor, you can watch over me," her voice tickled my ear.

"I don't like this."

"You don't have to."

"I love you, Prim."

Just then, the door swung open, breaking the spell. "Time's up," grunted a Peacekeeper from the hall. I stared at Prim, dismayed. She was right. I was her mentor, I would see her soon. But this felt too final, like death. Gale put his hand on my shoulder to encourage me out of the room. I heard him murmer a few reassurances to Prim. With one last strangled cry, I kissed Prim roughly on her forehead.

"I love you, Katniss," she whispered, "You have to let me go."

I met her wide eyes one last time, then let Gale pull me gently but forcefully from the room. I stumbled down the hall, and out into the open air, gasping in lung fulls of cool air that burned my throat and spread my tears across my cheeks. Gale pulled me into his warm arms. "Shhhhh," he soothed but I recoiled from him sharply.

"Don't touch me," I choked out in a hoarse voice.

"Katniss..." he tried to step towards me but I backed away. He stared into my eyes.

I spat on the ground at his feet. That is what I thought of him. The anger that was so familiar and accesible to me flooded my veins and gave me a surge of new life.

"Don't. Touch. Me," I sounded out every syllable slowly, the coldness resonating in my voice. I turned on the spot and stalked off swiftly.

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

Acceptance.

The five stages.

Of Death.

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**Ok, thanks for reading and I hope you liked it enough to review!**

**I just noticed that HG has 229 fics! We are on the rise people!!! Watch out Twilight!!!!**

**Anyone seen HP6?? Thoughts, comments....???****I read some great books over the holidays:**

* * *

**The Recruit by Robert Muchamore - Brilliant! Should be made into a movie! I can't wait to get cracking on the rest of the CHERUB series.**

**Hunted by P.C and Kristin Cast - I loved this! I can't wait for the next book Tempted.**

**Demonata/ Dark Calling by Darren Shan - Much better than the last two! A bit of a rough start but it got very good in the end and I really want to read the last in the series Hells Heroes.**

**Right now, I'm reading an absoloutly brilliant book called The Time of the Reaper by Andrew Butcher! You should get a copy if you see one! Definetly worth the read!**


	11. Wanting Part One

**The procrastinator is back!! I am sooooo sorry this update took so long but I have been enjoying the last remnants of my summer holidays! Back to school next week and oh god the summer flew by! And typically, the weather is picking up for the start of term! Perfect :D**

**This chapter took me a while to write because I had a lot of content to fit into it and so some of it is slightly smushed in so I apologise for that but I hope that you like it anyway!**

**I would like to give another shout out to my FABULOUS REVIEWERS!! You guys rock! I have ONE HUNDRED AND TEN REVIEWS!!!!!! Woop woop! :) Thanks to PeetaMellarkLove who was my hundreth reviewer and to xX-ATwiNaturalHungerForVic-Xx who always has the most interesting reviews! **

**Also, I recently decided to go through all of the junk in my email inbox (I had 1000 emails! Oops ;P) and I noticed that a lot of people have added my fic as a favourite! If you are one of those people, thank you so much, it really means a lot to me! So thanks to LaurenG, emeraldDaze and Maggie Puddles. If I missed your name, I'll thank you next time :D****So here is the next chapter of my fic! I hope you like it and as usual, please review!**

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Chapter Eleven - Peeta.

The sad thing was, when it happened, I wasn't suprised.

I think I had always known, somwhere deep down in my subconcious that this was how it was going to turn out. I just decided to not think about it and savour the moments while they still existed, but the truth is always inevitable.

Broken.

Thats how I felt when I watched him kiss her.

I should have just stayed in the tent. But Caius, one of the older rebels, had asked me to find Katniss and when he asks something of you, you do it. I knew that a few of the younger ones were afraid of him. I didn't blame them. So I nodded and ducked out of the tent to look for her. The first place I checked was the tent that Prim was staying in.

She had been on edge about Prim lately, I could see it in the tension of her stance. To keep Prim safe, if she could do that indefintely, she would be happy. But Prim was alone, sitting up in a nest of blankets in the far corner of the tent, swiping her arms about in the air. I frowned. Stepping in quietly, I watched her for a moment. A glint of light sliced through the air in a quick, delicate arc.

"Prim?" I called softly and she jumped in suprise. Her arms dove to her sides and I caught the flash of silver as she stowed something under the blankets.

"Hi Peeta," she smiled, wide awake.

"I was just looking for Katniss..." I trailed off due to the obvious fact that Katniss wasn't there.

Prim shrugged.

I hesitated but then decided to go in for the plunge. "What were you doing just now, before I came in?" I asked quietly.

She blinked a few times and started to say something, but thought better of it. Her head drooped slightly and a red heat brushed her cheeks. Slowly, as if her arms were heavy, she reached under the covers and pulled something out and dropped it into my hands. The metal felt cool against my skin and I looked down to see a short dagger with a silver rusted hilt.

"Practising," she mumbled into the confused silence.

"Pract-" I fumbled over the word, "What?"

It dawned on me then that when she had been swiping her arms about in the air, it was in cutting and stabbing motions. Fighting motions.

"Oh Prim-" I started but she put her hands over her ears.

"Don't," she said, "Don't talk to me like I am a child, because I'm not. I want to help."

"I know you're not a child," I tried to sympathise, "But you don't need to be doing this. We have plenty of people for... this. Just leave it to us."

"It's just in case," she explained, "When it comes down to it, don't you think it's important that I should at least be able to defend myself? I won't be helpless."

The stubborn wink in her eye of determination reminded me so much of Katniss.

"Don't tell Katniss I said this," I smiled, "But I agree. There's no harm in it, I suppose".

She grinned. "Speaking of, shouldn't you go find her?"

"Speaking of, doesn't she think you're asleep," I retorted jokingly.

"Point taken," she rolled her eyes and smiled before burying herself in the blankets. I left quietly.

I didn't realise untill the next day that I never asked her where she had gotten the blade.

Prim had a knack of making people smile. She had a special gift for it. And so I was still smiling when I saw them. At first, I thought Katniss was sitting by herself up on the boulder and I started to call out to her, but then I noticed the dim outline of someone sitting beside her. Gale. Who else?

I didn't have time to register any feelings of envy or hurt because no sooner than I recognised them, their outlines slowly meshed into one and I realised they were kissing.

Broken.

I turned away abruptly, trying to not feel anything, to not care. I walked blindly, unaware of where I was heading. I could have walked into a group of Peacekeepers for all I cared. This was it. Before, Katniss and Gale had just been close friends with strong feelings for each other that they hadn't acted upon, or so I had gathered. But now that both Gale and I had declared out loud, she had to choose. This was it. I had wanted to fight for her. I should have known he would fight back.

Had he already won?

Maybe she had just been waiting for him all along. Maybe I was just her ploy to survive the games to get back to him.

Was I really insignificant to her?

Did she-

"Peeta?" I stopped walking to find Madge standing behind me, her eyes searching mine.

When I didn't say anything, she didn't look suprised or embarassed. We had been spending a lot of time together on the base and we had gotten to know one another. She was used to my moodiness.

"I followed you," she admitted, "Were you trying to sneak away? Because you weren't being very quiet about it."

I took in our surroundings and realised that I had blundered past the edge of the clearing, into the dank forest, without even realising it.

"No, I- I don't think..." I trailed off realising I wasn't sure about the answer.

Sighing, I sat down on the damp ground and after a moments hesitation, Madge copied me. She studied me for a minute.

"So you did see them?" she assesed, "I thought that you might have but I didn't want to say anything in case you hadn't. You did see them, right? Katniss and-"

"Yes!" I cut her off hoarsly, "I saw."

"Sorry," she added quietly and I felt guilty about being so abrupt with her. This wasn't her fault.

"It's alright. It is what it is."

We both pondered that one for a few moments.

Madge smiled gently and bumped her shoulder against mine playfully. "Anyway," she sighed, "I understand better than anyone."

I frowned and looked up at her. Twilight was upon us so I wasn't sure, but I thought I saw a light haze of pink spread across her cheeks.

"It's ok," her laugh was breezy, "I hide it well."

"Gale?" I asked softly.

"Sad as it is, yes."

"Why would it be sad?" I wondered aloud.

"He hates me," she sighed, "Resents my family, the privileges I was born into. We live so close and yet have such completly different lives. I might as well live in District One or even the Capitol."

"I'm sure it's not that bad," I offered.

"Maybe," she shrugged, "But it's nowhere good. You should have seen him when you were gone. He was nothing without her."

"I think she is the same without him."

We sat and brooded in the dark for a few minutes. Then, all of a sudden, Madge laughed, loud and clear as a bell ringing and it was as though it was contagious because I couldn't help but laugh with her. We laughed until our sides hurt and I had tears in my eyes.

"What are we like," she grinned as we calmed down, "Sitting here complaining in the dark while the people we love get jiggy with it."

"Jiggy?" I scoffed, appalled and she laughed again at my expression.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah," I added darkly, "I do."

She pulled a face but smiled weakly.

"It would have never worked with Gale and I anyway," she linked her arm with mine, "I'm too complex for him."

"You're about as complex as a crayon," I teased and she grinned and swung her hand at me fast but I caught it just before it came in contact with my shoulder. She seemed to pause and I when I looked at her, I couldn't read her expression.

I didn't let go of her hand and she didn't pull away.

She turned her head suddenly, still holding onto my hand. I followed her gaze. "What-"

"Shhhhh!" she hushed gently and I looked back to see her face closer to mine than I had expected. My mouth ran dry.

"Do you trust me?" she asked, moving my hand she held in hers to rest on her waist.

"I..."

"Do you trust me?" she persisted, her eyes burning into mine.

"Of course," I answered, still confused.

She smiled briefly, then leaned in, coiled her hands around my neck and kissed me softly on the mouth. I was shocked, but I didn't pull away. My hands were on her waist and she moved her lips with mine slowly, gently, sending light sparks shooting through my veins. She tasted sweet, like peaches in summer.

Then as soon as it started, it ended and she pulled back and looked at me bright eyed.

"What was that for?" I asked lamely. She stared into my eyes solemnly, then suddenly grinned.

"Katniss was just here," she grinned.

"Wait, what?"

"She was here a minute ago. I saw her watching us from over there," she gestured with her hand, "So I thought it wouldn't do her any harm to see that you are desirable too."

Madge seemed pleased with herself. I had been about to yell at her, but the way she put it, it didn't sound so bad after all. I barely registered the fact that she thought I was desirable.

"Ok... well..." I coughed akwardly, "Thanks?"

"You welcome," she was unfazed, "Now lets start heading back before it gets too dark."

I thought it would have been strange between us after that, but Madge was perfectly at ease and I decided I would be too. After all, it was just a bit of friendly help. Madge was just another follower of Gale. I hope she realised that she had good competition.

I noticed, though, that despite her comfort with me, she carefully kept her distance on the walk back.

****************************************************************************************************************************************************

The atmosphere at the reaping was unsettling and reminded me of the calm before a storm. A horrible, consuming storm. Katniss seemed to be brooding about something, tense and unsure of herself though I couldn't think to blame her in a situation like this. When I talked to her, her responses were short and unfocused.

I wondered what it was that she couldn't get off of her mind.

I drifted in and out of the polite speeches and jibes from Effie Trinket and before I could register the feelings, a small girl was dragging her feet up the stairs. I felt her defeat in the dull light of her eyes. She was so small. So young.

"I volunteer!"

Someone called out loudly before I had even realised Effie had asked for volunteers. Everyones head started whipping to the direction of the voice, like dominoes falling in a timed sequence. I turned, shocked, to look at Katniss but what I got shocked me even more.

An empty chair, shaking slightly as though she had left so fast that she nearly took the chair with her.

"Katniss?" I asked no one in particular.

But I couldn't worry about her for the moment. There were more pressing matters at hand. I turned back to face the tribute I would inevitably help to put in a graveyard.

"Primrose Everdeen, I volunteer as tribute!"

My blood sounded like a roaring river as it drained from my face. I looked at the empty seat beside me again. Prim, who noticed my look, followed it and I saw her face crumple for a split second. So this hadn't been premeditated. Maybe Katniss just couldn't deal when she saw Prim, so she left... That didn't seem likely, but I was grasping at straws to make sense of it all.

Prim bounded lightly onto the stage, nodding at Haymitch but she avoided my stare. I stared through a fog as the reaping proceeded. What wa going on? Was this some kind of plan or strategy?

"I volunteer too..."

Oh, what now!

Slowly, painfully, I looked up to see Reed, Gale's younger brother slouched on the stage. He exuded nochalance confidently, his hand running through his hair. Like brother, like brother. Ugh. But despite my slight contempt, I would not wish this fate upon anyone and I couldn't understand what was going on.

My mind was in a spin.

All centering on one thing, a giant question mark.

?

But above all questions, one was more dominant, more clear than the others as Prim and Reed were lead into the Justice building.

Where the hell were Katniss and Gale?

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************

After the reaping, I waited around for Katniss but she never appeared. We still had time before we had to leave for the Capitol so I decided to head to the clearing. I had already said my goodbyes to my family.

I knew that Katniss was there even before I reached the top of the hill.

She was barking orders out at the top of her lungs, anger and fear lacing through her voice. I broke through the trees into the clearing and headed straight for her. When she saw me, she didn't say anything and neither did I. I just walked straight up to her and took her firmly into my arms, wrapping her safely with me.

I felt her body sigh with either pain or anger.

But I went on holding her until I felt her relax into me, leaning heavily as though her strength was gone. I wanted to hold her forever.

"Gale," she whispered and I froze.

"What?"

"It was Gale a-and Prim," she sounded hoarse but whether it was from shouting or crying I would never know, "They planned this. He... he_ trained_ her for this."

She spat out the words like venom.

I held her at arms length, "Are you sure?"

"Told me himself," she looked crazy. Her hair was in a mad tuft, as if she had been frantically running her hands through it and she had a poisonous glint in her eye that put me on edge.

I gritted my teeth, "Is he here?"

She nodded and before she could say anything, I stalked towards the main tent, as I was pretty sure that was where he would be. Gale would be leaving District 12 soon after Katniss and I. He and a select few of our finest rebels would be going on a mission to the other Districts to recruit more rebels and to stir up the rebellion wherever possible. And when it all hit the fan, and the real war began, his group would lead the attack on the Capitol.

I couldn't say I envied him.

"Gale," I shouted as I crashed my way into the tent.

"Peeta?" Gale turned around to see me with a raised eyebrow. He looked maddingly calm and it only fueled my anger.

"How could you do that? How could you send Prim to her death?" I shouted loudly and a few people turned around to watch curiously.

Katniss ran in behind me. "Peeta, don't even bother."

"But I-"

"No, Peeta," she didn't turn her murderous glare off of Gale, but I could hear the venom in her voice, "I can fight my own battles."

I had no doubt about that.

"Can we talk alone?" Gale asked Katniss quietly, still showing no signs of remourse.

I started to say something but Katniss held up her hand to cut me off. "I have nothing to say to you," her voice was as cold as death and Gale searched her face desperatly.

"Well I have something to say to you," he replied, his tone neutral, "Come on."

He moved as though to take her by the arm and she jerked back from him sharply, giving him a dark look. For the first time, his face showed some emotion, his expression reminding me off a wounded animal. She couldn't even bear to touch him. I didn't like to admit it but that fact gave me a slight twinge of pleasure.

They stared at each other for a few moments and I began to feel awkward. Then finally, Katniss said coldly, "Five minutes". She stalked on ahead of him, out of the tent. Gale gave me a quick, blank stare and then loped out after her.

I rubbed my forehead frustratedly.

"Hey," a hand touched my shoulder and I turned to see Madge. Her face was flushed as though she had run all the way here and she was still wearing the blue dress she wore at the reaping. "I caught the end of that. What's going on? Why did Prim volunteer? This wasn't planned, was it?"

"You're not going to like it," I sighed and moved so that I could sit on a nearby crate. She sat on the bare ground beside me, not worried about her clothes.

"Tell me."

"Gale.... Gale trained Prim so that she could volunteer for the Hunger Games. As you can imagine, Katniss is furious about it."

Madge's hand moved silently to cover her mouth.

"No," she shook her head, "No it has to be some kind of mistake!"

"It's not," I said tonelessly.

It was at that moment that Gale decided to walk slowly back into the tent.

I noticed that Katniss wasn't with him.

"I'm gonna go talk to him," Madge announced, "I have to hear this from him."

"Ok," I said, barely listening, my eyes moving to the outside of the tent of their own accord. Madge smiled as if she knew exactly what I was thinking and brushed my shoulder with her hand reassuringly before heading over to Gale. I watched them talking intensly for a minute before I got up and left the tent.

I knew where to look even before the question had formed fully in my mind. Sure enough, there she was, standing outside Prim's tent, staring dejectedly into space.

"Katniss," I called softly, to let her know that I was approaching. I wondered if she would still be angry or if she would be sad or upset.

But when she turned to face me, there was something else on her face, something it took me a moment to place.

Determination.

And then she walked squarely up to me. She stood so close that I could feel the heat of her body mingling with mine and feel her light breath tickle my skin.

Then she pulled me firmly to her and kissed me urgently on the lips.

She tasted just like I remembered. Like sunshine on a late summer evening, her fire blazing behind the lids of my closed eyes. The smell of the forest clung to her hair and her clothes and wrapped me in her essence. A shivering spark of electricity short circuited all of my nerve endings. It happened so quickly, like a short, sharp breeze, and ended before I could be certain that it really happened.

Then she stepped back slightly and I stared at her dumfounded. All of those moments we shared in the Games came flooding back to me like the tide of the sea pushing the waves ashore.

She smiled uncertainly, waiting for me to say something.

"No," I suprised myself by bursting out loudly, "You can't keep doing this Katniss! I can't be someone that you just fall back on when you are unsure about Gale."

"But-"

"Look, Katniss, I know when he's been on your mind. You get this look in your eyes and I can't live like that anymore." I paused.

"You're right, we're not in the Games anymore and that makes this different. I can't share you with him."

"You know that I would fight for you, right? But how can I fight when I don't know if you want me to?" I took a deep breath and forced the rest out.

"I want all of you, Katniss and anything that comes with that is fine by me."

"But it's now or never," I decided on the spot.

All or nothing," I said everything I had been holding in since the Games and I realised how strange it sounded but it needed to be said.

I couldn't do this anymore.

She couldn't keep shining her light on me and then just switching it off with no notice, leaving me in the dark. I would eventually adjust to the dark if she would stop turning the light on and off.

I half expected her to just walk away or to not answer or to say that she was in love with Gale. But she didn't.

"Peeta," she hesitated, "I realised something when I was talking to Gale. The Hunger Games will always be a part of me, I can't change that. And... so will you."

She stumbled over the words quickly, uncomfortable in her emotions, I knew.

"If I had never gone to the Games, then maybe... Gale and I could have... But I did... and I'm different now. And I can't... with him. Not as this new person."

I struggled to catch all of her mumbled sentences and she toed the ground with the front of her hunting boots nervously.

"What I'm trying to say is, I know why I was afraid of... of _being_ with you."

I gulped. This wasn't going where I had expected it to.

"You see, in the Games, I was supposed to be with you. Almost like a rule. Like being forced to enter the reapings, to compete in the Games. I just... I _don't _want to be with someone because I have to be, but because I want to be," she frowned as she tried to explain.

"And what do you want?" I asked softly after a moments silence.

She stared into my eyes, suddenly looking composed, sure.

"You."

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**Ok thanks so much for reading this and I hope that you review! I have had over 3000 hits on this story so far and it has been added to the David vs. Goliath community archive! Thanks to everyone who takes time to read this! I love you all x**

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	12. Wanting Part Two

**Sorry it took so long for me to update. I've had the Chapter written for days but what with me starting back school, I haven't had a chance! The summers over :( I am in fifth year now so I'm supposed to buckle down to work! Gulp***

**Ok, so I decided to make the last chapter a two part so that I could squeeze in a bit of what I had to leave out of the first one so it wouldn't sound like rambling on!**

**I hope you like it! This chap is a bit of fluff, but don't worry, there are some important bits in there too!**

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**Thanks so much for reading x**

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Chapter Twelve - Peeta.

"You."

I never thought one word could bring such light and joy into life.

You. You. Youyouyou.

Me.

I wanted to hesitate, to asses her true meaning and to ask her if she was was sure, if she really meant it. But I couldn't bring myself to. It felt like that stage of your life when you're not young, but not quite old enough to be considered an adult and you find yourself grasping onto your childhood, in the hopes of living in that blissfully ignorant stage for just a little longer.

Ignorance is bliss.

So instead of being careful like I knew that I should have been, when she uttered that one little word, I stepped closer to her almost unknowingly, so close that the touch of her breath on my skin raised goosebumps all along my arms. I smiled slowly and cupped her face between my hands, raising her chin slightly.

For a minute, her gaze stayed steadily on the ground, but I didn't waver so eventually she dragged her eyes up to meet mine, looking up at me from beneath her eye-  
lashes.

She looked uncertain and guarded but that was usual for her and didn't put me off because I saw a glimpse of something else flitter through her that I couldn't quite place.

Familiarity, maybe. Like she could relax with me. Like we already knew each other well enough for this to be ok. For this to be right.

Her lips quivered slightly and I smiled as I brushed a strand of her dark hair back behind her ear. I saw her glance fleetingly at my lips and so I leaned in slowly and pressed them to hers softly, but firmly.

_I'm here_, I wanted to stay, _I'm here for you. I'm not going to leave. You can't push me away._

Slowly, as though the walls that were constantly guarding her from the rest of the world had suddenly dissolved, her lips moved subtly with mine and I felt her move closer to me. I moved my hands from her face and into her hair, stroking it gently, following it down to the curve of her spine. I let my hands rest there, holding her as near as I could.

She shifted slightly, placing the palms of her hands on my chest and I felt a thrill run though me.

She trailed the tips of her fingers tantalisingly slow over the shape of my collar bone, then onto my neck, until she reached her other hand and she clasped them there,  
pulling me down to her firmly.

I traced the line of her bottom lip with my tongue and she opened her mouth to me gently. I storked the tip of my tongue along hers and her eyes snapped open.

Then she was kissing me back fiercly, as thought we were back in the games and this was the last time we would ever see each other.

Desperately. Intensly.

Her lips fueled a sheer heat deep within me, that flooded to the surface at her contact and my skin was alight with desire.

The fire raged and consumed me, wrapping me in its embrace.

"Peeta?"

For a moment, I thought that the voice had been in my head. It was just Katniss calling out to me. But then I realised that Katniss was in no position to talk and I pulled away from her to look around through foggy eyes.

Through the slight mist, I glimpsed Madge staring at me open-mouthed.

"I..." I was still in a daze.

"Oh my god... _Katniss?"_ Madge squinted at us.

Katniss looked a funny colour and she mumbled, "Eh..."

"Oh... God. You two are...? Ehm, sorry. I'll just um..." she turned to go.

Madge always was very straight forward. She just said whatever came to her mind. No fuss. No shame. Just truth.

It wasn't really a good thing when it came to awkward situations as such.

I looked down at Katniss but she was looking at the ground.

"Actually..." Madge turned back and I groaned inwardly. What next?

"Peeta? Do you mind... um, taking a break for a quick minute. I need to talk to you about something," she asked with a smirk.

She seemed to be unfazed by my cut throat motions and wild eyed expression.

I looked down at Katniss quickly, unsure.

"Go," she smiled softly, "I have to gather my things to leave for the Capitol anyway. We can... eh... we'll talk later."

I held her gaze for a second, then leaned in swiflty and kissed her on her temple. I squeezed her hand lightly and then watched her walk back towards the main tent.

Silence.

A momentary lack of noise overwhelmed me, untill Madge spoke.

"Whoa," she murmered appropriately.

"I know," I said and I turned to smile at her, but when I did, she had a strange expression on her face.

"Are you okay?" I walked towards her. Now that I stood closer, I could see the look in her eyes and furrow of her brow. Her skin had a strange colour to it and she was flushed.

"What's the matter?"

She smiled at me. But it was a strange smile, distant almost, like it didn't really reach her eyes.

"I'm fine," her voice seemed to crack slightly, but I could have imagined it.

"So how did that happen?" she asked, smiling that strange smile, but she bumped her fist reassuringly off of my shoulder.

I shrugged and laughed. "I wish I knew."

She said nothing for a minute, and looked at the ground. When she looked back up at me again, she looked more composed, more like herself.

"That's great, Peeta," she smiled wistfully, "I am happy for you. Really."

"Thanks. I just... can't believe that she wants me."

"Yeah, me neither," she joked, "What could she possibly see in you?"

She laughed loudly and I joined in, unable to help myself.

"It must be my irresistable charm," I choked and she spluttered along with me.

As I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye from laughing, I asked "So, what was it you interupted my _mojo_ to talk about?"

Madge rolled her eyes playfully, muttering 'mojo' sarcastically under her breath, but I noticed her expression reverted back to that strange, flickering one.

"Well," she blurted, "It's about Gale. You see, I don't actually-"

"Wait," I broke in grinning, "Don't tell something has happened. We couldn't both get what we want on the same day."

She faltered slightly. "Well, eh, no. Not exactly."

I waited patiently.

She seemed to be mentally contemplating something. Then I saw the slight nod of her head.

"I wasn't sure before now... I wanted to talk to you... But I think now.... I think..." she stumbled incoherently.

"What is it?" I asked gently.

She paused, and breathed in and out deeply.

Finally, she blurted out...

"I'm going with him."

It took me a moment to register the words.

"Going with who? Where?" I fumbled.

"Gale," she sighed but her eyes lightened noticably, "I'm going with him. On the mission."

Silence.

"You're what?" I shouted.

"I'm going with him to help recruit other rebels and spread the rebellion plans," she strung the sentence into one word.

"But... but," I spluttered, "You can't!"

"Why not?" she challenged.

"Because!" I exclaimed loudly, "Because it's dangerous. You could get hurt. You could get killed!"

"I'm a big girl Peeta," she said curtly, echoing back on the start of the rebellion, "I can take care of myself."

I started to shout something, then restrained myself, knowing she wouldn't listen. She had made up her mind. Nobody could change that.

"Why?" I asked quietly.

"If you and Katniss have a chance," she whispered, "Then why not Gale and I?"

"You're risking your life for him," I said dully.

"What else is worth the risk?" she asked and I had no answer for that one.

"Just be happy for me, like I am happy for you," she pleaded.

I didn't say anything, but I nodded quickly.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I looked at the ground.

"We better head over," she hesitated, "We're leaving early and you still have to get ready for the Capitol."

I nodded again.

She smiled weakly, linked her arm with mine and led me back to main tent.

*******************************************************************************************************************************************************

I stood with Katniss by my side and watched as the rebels who were leaving on the mission readied themsleves with an unsettling feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach.

Katniss kept glancing at me and turning away but I couldn't take my eyes off of Madge who was closing the top on a heavy looking backpack and hoisting it onto her back. She tipped slightly to the side with the weight of the bag and then laughed.

I gulped.

Gale helped to fix the straps of the bag so that the bag sat more evenly between her shoulder blades and she smiled up at him brightly. He gave her a funny look and smiled back faintly. I had a bitter taste in my mouth that I couldn't seem to get rid of.

Why would she do this?

What if she got hurt?

Did she ever take anything seriously?

She laughed again and said something to Gale who looked in our direction and then nodded. They made their way through the other rebels, over to us. when they stopped beside us, we were all silent for a minute. Katniss and Gale were avoiding each others gaze and I was glaring full on at Madge.

She stuck her tongue out at me and waggled her eyebrows in Gales direction when he wasn't looking.

I couldn't help it, I had to laugh.

Gale and Katniss looked up startled at my laugh and I could feel my ears reddening but Madge just grinned.

"So, we'll be heading off now," Gale cleared his throat.

"I..." Katniss kept her eyes on me as she spoke to him, "Good luck."

"Thanks," he muttered gruffly.

"Who needs luck when we have Gale," laughed Madge, trying to be reassuring, and putting her hand on Gales arm. I could feel Katniss's attention zoning in on that touch with mine. She slipped her hand into mine, somewhat discreetly. Somewhat.

"I'll miss you," Madge turned her bright eyed gaze on me and I felt a sharp pang of pain.

"I'll miss you too," I said, realising it was true.

She smiled and I slipped out of Katniss's hand to pull her into a hug.

"For God's sake, be safe," I whispered into her hair and she shivered slightly in my arms.

"Aren't I always?" she grinned, pulling back, but there were tears brimming on the edge of her eyes. I caught one as it slid down her cheek and brushed it away and then,  
of course, she laughed.

"This isn't goodbye, so don't even say it," she demanded, smiling.

"Okay, how about - see you soon?" I suggested.

"Perfect," she grinned, "See you soon, Peeta."

"See you soon, Madge."

And I meant it.

No matter what.

Then Madge turned to Katniss. "Take care of him for me," she joked, "He tends to wander off sometimes."

Katniss smiled, "Of course."

Then Katniss eyed Gale warily. "Eh... bye."

"Yeah, bye," Gale huffed back. I exchanged a glance with Madge.

Madge smiled at me again and then headed over to mthe others. Katniss started to edge away also, but when I went to move, I found a very large hand in my way.

"Peeta," Gale said in a serious tone, "If you hurt her in any way, you'll have me too deal with."

I stared at him for a moment, then looked over his shoulder at Madge. He followed my gaze.

"The same goes for you," I said simply.

We nodded, coming to a silent agreement and then parted ways.

I went back over to stand beside Katniss. I took her hand in mine and we watched as the last of the group departed. They would have to walk the first stint of the mission,  
transportation would be too obvious.

Madge turned one last time and waved back at me before dissapearing into the trees. Gale didn't wave, he just looked back once, then walked away.

_"Be safe."_

It played in my head.

_"Aren't I always?"_

I sighed deeply.

"I hope so," I whispered into the cold air, wishing that the whisper could carry in the wind all the way to Madge and wrap her in its embrace, as a warning to her to remember those words.

Katniss and I didn't say anything.

But we stood there for a while, after they had left, just looking at the spot we had last seen them.

"Come on," Katniss said after a while, "It's time to go to the Capitol."

"It is time," I echoed and taking her hand, we walked back through the clearing, towards the District.

It is time.

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**4 DAYS (for Americans) TILL CATCHING FIRE!!!**

**Lucky yokes :D**


	13. Sacrifice

**Ok, so this isn't a proper chapter! Sorry about this, I just realised that I left a bit of a gap so I wrote this quickly to fill in the blank before I move on. It's nothing major but I hope you like it anyway. I just thought this needed a bit of explanation.**

**I want to give a shout out to HgObsessed865. I don't know if that is you're real account name because you weren't logged on but THANK YOU for reviewing nearly every chapter in a row! Also, I wanted to mention my friend mrs edward cullenxxx she just started a new fic called The Story of a Broken Girl and we all know how hard it is when you are starting off on this so if any of you guys are Twilight fans, I would love if you checked out her fic!**

**To Naty: It may not be fluffy, but I updated REALLY SOON!!! :D**

**OMG, last time I updated, I had 110 reviews... now I have ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY TWO!!!! YOU GUYS ROCK!!! Thanks to those who always faithfully review and those new reviewers too :D Also, a lot of people who don't review have been favouriting my fic so I guess thanks to you guys too!**

**I am dedicating this to the song Just So You Know by Jesse McCartney, because it fits perfectly with this chapter!!**

**Ok, on with the 'chapter'! As usual, hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think.**

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Chapter Thirteen - Gale.

"Gale!" he shouted as he bounded into the tent and I almost laughed at his expression. He looked like an over-excited terrier.

Then before I could say a word, he started shouting about Prim and the Hunger Games, as if I hadn't heard it from everyone else already. As if I didn't know. As if I didn't want to volunteer to take her place. Something. _Anything._

Then Katniss strode into the room and I tried to act as though I hadn't even noticed. "Don't even bother, Peeta."

Her words were like icicles, cutting deeply into me and making me numb and her cool gaze did nothing to help the situation.

"But I-" he frowned.

"No Peeta," she spat, still glaring straight at me, "I can fight my own battles."

She didn't need to tell us that. We both knew how true that was. You don't win the Hunger Games out of luck.

"Can we talk alone?" I asked quietly. Now or never.

"I have nothing to say to you," she said fiercly, looking straight through me untill I unintentionally flinched.

"Well I have something to say to you," I insisted, "Come on."

I was sick of talking with Peeta standing close to her, a smug expression plastered on his face. I moved without thinking, reaching out almost automatically to touch her arm and she cringed away from me sharply, pain etched in thin lines across her face. I thought I saw a flash of disgust in her eyes.

For a moment, I let my guard down. I could feel my features melting into a searing pain. A pain I was trying to hold inside but she was making it impossible. She hated me. I knew that when I agreed to this, that it would always end up this way.

But she would see in the end. This would work. She needed to have faith. But Katniss was always a more act now, think later kind of person. It was one reason I loved her.

This was all for the greater good.

Her hating me was a painful, but necessary sacrifice, even if she never understood, never discovered. It would be worth the pain in the end.

Still, I had to try.

I looked at her for a never ending moment, seeing all this on my face, reflected back at me through her unforgiving eyes.

"Five minutes," she surrendered, like a candle about to burn out.

Then she turned on her heel and stalked out of the tent. I sighed and followed after her. She kept walking through the base untill she stood in front of the large boulder that sat at the back. Our place. Then she turned and said nothing. Just waited.

I noticed that the sky was a strange colour, red and smoky all at once, as if the day was bleeding into the night.

Now or never.

She looked at me expectantly.

"Anytime now," she pressed, pursing her lips.

Just say it. Say it now. Now!

"Just so you know," I started quickly, the words sounding more abrupt than I'd meant them too.

"This... this _feeling_... it's taking control of me and I can't help it," I kept my eyes on her to gauge a reaction, but her expression remained impassive.

"Before I go, before anything else happens, before it's... too late," I felt a sharp stab of pain rip through me like a silent scream.

"I wanted to say this. I won't let... _him_ win now, not without a fight," it was coming out wrong, sounding like a competition for a desirable prize.

Still, she reamined silent, so I ploughed on.

"It's just... it's getting hard to be around you when there's so much that I can't say. I can't figure out if you want me to hide this feeling... to look the other way when you're with Peeta," the words were tumbling out faster now and I wondered if they made as much sense out in the open as they did in my head.

I realised that the words had been there for a long time.

"I can't just make it turn off. And I don't know how to act okay, when I know that I'm not."

I just had never voiced them before.

"I don't know why I waited this long. I think the games put things into perspective. But it's always been there, just never spoken," I realised just how true that was as I said it.

Katniss stared, her face seeming bored but I knew those eyes so well and I recognised hte flare of suprise in them. Her lips pressed together thinly.

I paused for a moment.

"I've tried my best to let you go," I hung my head, "But I... don't want to."

Her eyes stopped staring through me and finally, really and truly saw me. Like a ceiling with a single star.

I cleared my throat, my voice turning hoarse suddenly, "I just wanted to say it all before I go."

A crashing wave of delayed grief broke over me and I took a deep breath before finishing. She must know. She must have always known.

But still, it had to be said.

"I know that I... shouldn't... love you," I forced it out and registered the spark of shock and something else that I couldn't put a name on, "But I want to."

I stopped then. It was finally out in the open. No going back. Now or never.

But Katniss just stayed silent, her lips thinning so much that they nearly dissapeared, her eyes a deep pool of mixed emotions. She seemed to be having an internal battle with herself. Her dark hair fell in front of one of her eyes and I reached up slowly to brush it from her face.

I left my hand touching her face and felt a surge of hope when she didn't move away.

Ever so gently, I brought my lips to hers. Just as they brushed hers, she flinched away and spun around so that her back face me. Her shoulders heaved up and down as she took deep breaths.

I stroked her hair from behind, so lightly that I knew she wouldn't feel it, with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

_Goodbye,_ I told her in my head.

I knew it was goodbye.

She turned back after a minute, her wounded expression catching me off guard. I took a step back politely.

"Just so you know," I murmered one last time and she nodded slowly.

She knew.

It just didn't change anything.

I saw her mouth something, quietly, inaudibly, but I knew what it was.

"Prim," she had reminded herself, "Primrose."

Then without any proper words, she spun away from me deftly and strode back towards the main tent.

I sagged defeated against the boulder. I had said all that needed to be said. I had known that this would happen. Yet I still felt an unsettling sting of pain as I watched her silhouette retreat into the shadows.

Was the sacrifice truly worth it?

I thought it was before, but I hadn't anticipated this pain.

If it was all for the best, why did I feel this way?

Why was the right thing, the hard thing?

It's crazy, I thought, how love stays with me. This isn't a war I wanted to fight. It hurts that I didn't figure it out before.

It's too late for a soliloquy.

It's too late for dignity.

It's too late for apologies.

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**Thanks so much for reading and please review!**

**LOVE YOU GUYS x**

**URGENT ANNOUNCMENT!!!!! Catching fire is already released in IRELAND!!!!!!!!!! Shocked, I know!! Me too! I can't get into town today, but I am heading in tomorrow and I will burn down the bookshop if I have to to get it!!! mrs edward cullenxxx already has it!!! (Ps. na na na na na! CF IS HERE!) **


	14. Leaving

**Hey guys! I decided to update today because you have been so great reviewing really fast and all!! I'm officially back to school tomorrow!! THE HORROR! lol I don't mind THAT much but let me just say that I am not a morning person so getting up early is sooooo hard for me!!**

**Depression....lol**

**We're getting close to the games now and I have a few suprises still to come so STAY TUNED FOR MORE :D**

**As usual, thanks for taking the time to read this and please review if you think its worth it!**

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Chapter Fouteen - Prim.

I didn't even have time to take in my first ride in a car, before we arrived at the station. My head was still swimming with emotions and I could feel them tearing at the seams, threatening to burst out. But I had to keep it in.

_Strategy is everything._

That was one of the first things that Gale told me. We spent many nights working on what angle I would need to portray. Katniss already had that sort of quiet dangerousness about her that she didn't have to work on but I needed to think of something.

We decided that the young, afraid girl was a bit overrated and besides, there were high expectations for me because I was Katniss's sister. So I thought then that it would be interesting to play up the strong, confident, sly angle; when nobody would expect that from me.

And as my appearance was the total opposite of that angle, people would be deadly curious to find out what my secret talent was.

Not that I actually had to have one, I just had to make it look like I did.

I wondered to myself what angle Reed would play, but he didn't look like he had much of a plan. He didn't look like he cared too much either way. Actually, as we pulled up in the car to the station, Reed happened to be asleep, his head lolling against that car window. I stared at him in disbelief. This was my partner.

I was doomed.

"Reed," I smacked him on the shoulder harder than I had needed to, "Wake up!"

He jerked off the window and stared at me blearily. "Uncool," he complained, rubbing his shoulder, "I was having a nice sleep."

"Yeah, well, I did you a favour. No one will sponser you if they see you sleeping like that," I snapped.

He shrugged and stretched. For the first time, he looked out the window at the hordes of reporters training their cameras on our car.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, looking around then back at me, "Did you see this?"

I rolled my eyes.

He waved experimentally and a dozen reporters started flashing their cameras. Reed laughed delightedly.

I couldn't believe him.

Then the door of the car was opened and I stepped out into a blur of white flashing lights that made it hard to see. I fumbled for a minute, unsure of where to go, and then I felt a steady arm on my elbow leading me towards the train and I looked up to see Reed.

He didn't meet my eyes and I was too dazzled by all the cameras to speak.

Once inside, we had to stand looking out a few minutes so they could get more shots of us, then finally we were off. I grabbed onto the back of a chair, anticipating the speed of the train from the stories that Katniss had told me.

But she hadn't said that it felt like flying.

I wasn't sure, but I think I liked it.

We didn't have long to adjust however. We were immediatly led to our own seperate chambers and I took wobbly steps, clutching the walls frequently when I thought I was going to fall over. Reed smirked at me and I felt my face getting hot.

Effie Trinket showed me my room and told me to help myself to anything I needed and when to be ready for dinner.

I don't remember saying anything back to her, but I could have for all I know. It was like one of those out of body experiences, this was happening to someone else, not me, not Primrose Everdeen. I sat on the bed for a few moments, pulling myself together.

I felt slightly sick. Maybe these trains weren't the best idea after all.

_It's ok_, I told myself, _this is all part of your plan. Part of your secret from the Capitol._

_You wanted this_, it took a while to assure myself, _this is what you wanted._

Nodding, I pulled myself off of the bed and looked around the room. It truly was beautiful. I opened a drawer and found a pile of flawless clothes; there were silks and satins that would pay for food for a year back in the District.

I grinned, running my hand over the smooth materials.

Running into the bathroom, I feasted my eyes on the one thing I had been looking forward to out of this whole situation.

The shower.

I had heard so much about the infamous shower that I had even attempted to build a makeshift one at home with a saucepan that had holes in the end of it, but Katniss said that it wasn't the same.

I hopped in gratefully, but I was careful about choosing which buttons to push, as I had been warned. It worked perfectly in the end. It was warm and sweet and I came out with my skin tasting like roses in summer.

Then I padded into my room in a huge, fluffy white towel and chose my clothes. I put on a white skirt that fell in light ruffles a little bit above my knee and a long sleeved, silky blue top that clung to my skin in a perfect fit.

I wondered how they knew my size already.

I dryed my hair with a strange appliance that had a handle and blew out hot air. Then I slipped it up into a wispy bun.

I was loitering around the room, wondering what I was supposed to be doing when there was a knock on the door. I opened it immediatly, expecting it to be Effie, but to my suprise it was someone else.

"Peeta!" I squealed and hugged him, causing him to stumble slightly on his bad leg. I smiled a quick apology.

"Hi Prim," he smiled genuinely.

"Where's Katniss?"

"She's waiting for us downstairs with... Reed," his features darkened slightly, "So I offered to come up and get you. Are you ready for dinner?"

"Let's go!" I beamed, slamming the door behind me and following him down the rattling corridor. Everywhere was so polished and perfect.

The first thing I saw in the dining room was Katniss and I ran to hug her immediatly. "Prim," her breath tickled my hair and I took in her comforting warmth. I liked having a little piece of home with me. Then I really noticed the room.

"Wow," I exclaimed, pulling out of Katniss's embrace and taking in the mahogony glossed table covared with gleaming white places.

"You'll get used to it," Katniss smiled thinly and I wondered what she was thinking about.

Peeta took a seat and gestured Katniss to sit beside him. "Brings back memories, doesn't it?" he murmered to Katniss and I tried but I couldn't hear her response.

Effie was already sitting beside Haymitch, who was slugging cheerfully from a suspicious looking drink and rambling about something that sounded like "Family reunioun!" That left one seat beside Reed. I shuddered.

He whistled low when I walked over, "Someone raided the Capitol drawers." I blushed slightly and glared at him before sitting down.

It wasn't untill then that I realised he was wearing a bathrobe.

I stared, gobsmacked. His hair was still wet from what I assumed was the shower and he was snug in a dark navy robe.

"What?" he asked, "Pink, over there, said I could wear whatever I wanted." He gestured at Effie who I noticed was glaring at him alarmingly from across the table.

I shook my head and decided not to bother commenting. It was just Reed.

Dinner was delicious. Unbelievably rich and satisfying. Though I hadn't gone hungry in a long time, the food in the District was nothing to that food. I was tempted to lick the plate when I was finished. It was comfortable as well with Katniss and Peeta there, it felt like being at home.

Then the tension that hung heavy in the air, like a trap ready to spring, descended and we all filed into another room to watch the replays of the reaping.

_Size up your opponents. Not all of them will join you willingly._

Gale's voice rang in my head and I nodded to myself. I sat a on a plush couch next to Katniss and though she smiled warmly at me, I could see the panic in her eyes.

It ran through each reaping, one by one, and I tried to pay close attention and pick out the most threatening tributes.

_Don't underestimate anyone. You don't know what they are really capable of._

I realised that Gales had been right about that. How was I to know who was acting and who was truly afraid?  
A few tributes jumped out at me as dangerous but I tried not to think about them like that. They were just people who would eventually be rebels.

There was only one twelve year old tribute, a boy from District 9. The boy from District One was disturbingly quiet, The girl from Two had bright blonde hair and a viscious smile, the girl from Eleven had caramel coloured skin and looked terified, and so on... In particular I remembered District 6, as a girl with crinkly, golden coloured hair was called up and when it came to the boys, her twin brother volunteered immediatly.

Neither looked upset, though.

Just determined.

When it came to District 12, I watched my face as I step forward and I was suprised to see no fear in my eyes. Then Reed lopes onto the stage casually and I notice Katniss's empty chair in the background of the shot. Then it cuts to a clip of Reed giving me a high five.

I narrow my eyes at him. "I'd forgotten about that," I muse, and he grins broadly.

The faces of the other tributes swirled around in my head and I started to feel panic rising.

"Maybe you two should get an early night," Katniss said, glancing at me and I nodded, wanting to be away from everyone for a while.

Reed stood, yawning. "I do need my beauty sleep," he said solemnly and I rolled my eyes.

"_You_ would," I muttered.

Haymitch nodded at me, sloshing his glass, "Get ready, sweetheart. This it it."

I gulped, smiling thinly, before Katniss led me out of the room and upstairs to my chamber.

"Why did I do this?" I bursted out when we got into my room, "You were right. I can't do this!"

Panic bubbled over shrilly into my voice.

"Prim, prim," she hushed, "It's okay. Calm down. You can do this. I was just afraid before. But you _can_ do this."

I sobbed, "I can?"

"Do you think I would have let you go if I thought you couldn't?" she raised her eyebrows.

I considered that and it calmed me slightly.

"No," I said in a small voice.

Katniss nodded, satisfied and helped me dress for bed. I climbed in beneath the soft covers, my eyes widening. It was lying on cloud.

I laughed, suprised and Katniss joined me. The Capitol may be evil, but you had to give them points for style.

"Peeta and I will help you along the way," Katniss said reassuringly, "And Haymitch may be crazy, but he knows what he is talking about. When he's sober."

I giggled, but then I stopped frowning. "Why did Haymitch come too? Couldn't he have stayed home this year?" I wondered aloud.

"He came for you," she smiled, "We all did."

I felt strangely comforted by this random act of kindness from Haymitch.

"Come now," Katniss whispered, "Sleep."

I lay down and she sat beside me, stroking my hair untill I fell asleep.

My last thought before I fell asleep was:

I wish I could tell you everything, Katniss.

I wish I didn't have to lie to you.

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**Lie about what, you ask?? Well, you'll just have to wait and see now won't you!**

**Thanks for reading and I hope you review!**

**STILL HAVEN'T GOT MY HANDS ON CATCHING FIRE :(**

**Anyone heard of the new film coming out: District 9. I know it's nothing to do with HG but the name reminds me of it so I wanna see it!**

**AMAZING SEREIS I'VE STARTED: Mortal Instruments series - City of Bones, City of Ashes, City of Glass. I've only read the first one but you should check them out if you haven't yet because I have to say it was brilliant!!**


	15. Spotlight

**Hey guys, it took me a while to find some time to post this, so I hope it's not too late! School is just so streeful for those first few days. I haven't really settled down into the routine yet so I'm still in a daze over it all. Work... ugh :(**

**So we are nearly at the Games now in the fic, so these chaps are going to be the lead up...**

**I really can't say thank you enough to all who you who faithfully review! It means so much to know you're reading this and what you think of it! I owe you guys big time. Thanks to smyle94 for my 150th review and to gethsemane342 and xX-ATwiNaturalHungerForVic-Xx, I can always count on hearing from you and you really keep me going!**

**I STILL DON'T HAVE CF!!! Depression...!**

**Anyways, thanks again and keep reading. Hope you like it and please review!**

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Chapter Fifteen - Prim.

The light that spilled through the curtains that morning was an unfamiliar one; grey and bleak, it fought to shine bright as though the Capitol had caged the sun itself in a stonghold of dark clouds that only the dullest light could filter through. It was teasing me gently from my dreams with a gradual persistance.

Then suddenly, I felt a rough hand shaking my shoulder, yanking me out from the warm cocoon I had created in the mass of feathery blankets.

"Get up," said a gruff voice.

I sat up, alarmed, and squinted through bleary eyes, my hair sticking out at odd angles from my head.

"Haymitch?" I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Come on," he grunted, pulling me up and out of the bed. He grabbed my elbow and started walking quickly out of the room, with me stumbling behind him.

"What?" I pulled back, but he was too strong and I almost tripped over my feet, "What's going on?"

I looked quickly outside as we thundered past one of the train windows and saw the thin pink line of dawn on the horizon.

"Haymitch," I gasped, sliding behind him on the slick polished floor of the corridor, "What time is it?"

"Late," he gruffed, then laughed oddly, "Or early. Whatever way you want to look at it."

I shook my head, bewildered, but we were already stumbling into the dining room where we had eaten dinner the night before. The table was already set with the matching set of gleaming white plates it had held last time. I looked around, but the room was empty besides us.

We looked a ridiculous pair. He was still dressed in the loose fitting jumper and ratty trousers that he wore the day before and the stubby out line of his beard was burnt dark on his unwashed face. He smelt strongly of the sharp pang of some sort of spirits. I was in a stripy pair of pajamas and looked like I had fallen backwards out of a nightmare.

"Haymitch," I sighed, too tired to be annoyed, "What is this about?"

He looked me up and down for a minute, as though sizing up a reaction from me. He looked slowly, studying me closely and though he smelt awful and looked like the drunk he was, I noticed that his eyes were sharp and focused. I saw a gleam of sheer intelligence in his gaze that both comforted and unsettled me.

"You," he made it sound like an accusation, "You said that you trained for this?"

Had Katniss been talking to him about me?

"Yes," I started, my voice not quite shed of slumber yet, "Gale helped me to-"

"Here," he thrust something cool and light into my hand. I looked down to see a sterling silver cutlery knife from the table in my hand.

"What-"

"Throw it," he said like it wasn't a suggestion.

"I- I'm sorry?" I stammered.

"Throw the knife."

A strange noise escaped my throat, halfway between a squeak of terror and grunt of disbelief.

I stood, rooted to the spot uncertainly. The knife suddenly felt heavy in my clammy hand.

"Katniss and I once sat at that table," he gestured over my shoulder, "And had a bit of a disagreement, so she decided to show me a few of her knife wealding skills. I was quite impressed at the time. She has quite a temper, doesn't she?"

He seemed to be asking himself more than me.

"She's a real fighter," he stated, "Show me that you trained. Show me that you're a fighter, like your sister. Throw the knife at the wall over there."

I looked at him uncertainly.

"Go on," he encouraged, "It's okay."

So, ignoring my jiggling nerves, I took a deep breath and tried to pretend that I was at home with Gale, just another evenings practice.

I stood with my shoulder squared and lined up the knife, before flinging with all of my strength at the panelled wall across the room. It lodged for a nanosecond, then wobbled dangerously and clattered to the floor.

I looked at Haymitch shamefaced and he didn't look suprised.

"It's okay," I said quickly, "I have a plan. I don't actually have to be good, I just have to seem good."

"Seeming good won't keep you alive," he shrugged.

"Yes, but I-"

"Oh I know all about your little plan," he said, suprising me, "But you need to stop treating this like a friendship contest and more like the games. The real games. Life or death. Kill or die."

"I am," I shouted, frustrasted.

"No," he said gruffly, "You're banking everything on this plan of yours. And what if it goes wrong? What if it fails? What if the games play out like everyone expects them to and you have to really fight to survive and not just pretend to?"

"It'll be fine," I huffed.

"Fine isn't good enough," he shouted and I winced at the tone of his voice, "Fine is dead. Can you imagine how Katniss will feel when you get tossed home in a body bag?"

"Stop it!" I shouted back, my blood boiling, "Don't say that. Don't bring Katniss into this!"

"Well it isn't you who'll have to watch her suffer after you die," he retorted sharply, "Maybe she'll decide it's not worth it though. Maybe she won't be able to go on without you. Yes, I think so. She won't be long in following you willingly into an early grave."

With an inhuman shriek, I grabbed the nearest knife from the table and flung it at Haymitch with bloodcurdling speed. It whizzed through the air and lodged with a sharp thud in the wall beside him, like the first nail on a coffin.

Ten centimetres from his face.

I was breathing heavily, rage searing under my skin, so I didn't feel alarmed by what I had just done. Only satisfied. But then, after a moment of stillness, Haymitch smiled slowly, the smile taking minutes to spread from the corners of his mouth, all the way up to his eyes.

A sickening, knowing smile that spiked fury in my heart.

He had wanted me to get angry. He had played on my weaknesses to see what would happen. To see what I was truly made of.

"It doesn't matter what happens," I exhaled sharply, "What I have to do. What you want me to do... I am not going to lose myself to this madness. I will do what it takes to survive, to beat the system... but no more."

"That's the thing," Haymitch said softly, "That's what it takes to survive. To win... Losing yourself."

I turned away from him, bitterly.

A split second later, Reed strolled into the dining room, dressed already, with his hands in his pockets. Being Reed, he didn't sense the thirty foot thick wall of tension that had built up in the air.

He took in my appearance with a smirk, running his gaze from my head to my feet. I had forgotten that I was still in pajamas, with a serious case of bed head.

"You look as good as I feel," he grinned cheekily. I stared back, frozen, like a deer caught in headlights.

Finally, Reed looked behind me to see Haymitch pressed against the wall, a gleaming silver knife lodged in the wall centimetres away. His eyes widened perceptibly.

He gave me a strange look that lasted a few seconds and I couldn't decipher what it meant.

Then he laughed, "What did he do, try to eat your slice of toast, or something?"

I frowned, and looked back at the table to see that it had already been filled with food for breakfast. Odd. I hadn't seen anyone come in or out except for Reed. Katniss had told me before that everywhere was tended to by Avox's, but I had yet to set my eyes on one of them.

Reed rubbed his belly appreciatly, "I'm starved. Let's eat!"

He sat down immediatly and began chomping on a soft roll. After a minute, Haymitch followed suit so even though I wasn't much hungry, I decided I might as well fill up too.

I helped myself to fruit from the ice cold tureen on the table and a plate of eggs, potatoes and what I thought were called sausages. I noticed Haymitch thinning his orange juice with a clear liquid that I didn't want to guess the name of.

Effie arrived soon after us and sat down with a coffee and a lightly buttered bread roll, giving our filled plates a dissaproving glance.

Katniss and Peeta traipsed into dining room a while later, and just as Katniss moved away from him, I noticed that they had been holding hands. Katniss frowned and walked over to wall, where the knife I had forgotten about was still stuck.

She pulled it out with a sharp tug. I stared down at my plate and munched heavily. She looked from me, to Reed, to Haymitch, then back to me again but said nothing.  
She took a seat beside Peeta and lay the knife gently on the table.

"It's a big, big, big day today," Effie broke the silence and I wondered if perkiness was a job requirement or an actual symptom of her personality.

"We'll be at the station soon, and you two will be going to your stylists," Peeta explained.

Katniss shifted tensely in her seat and Peeta gave her a reassuring look.

"Whatever your stylists want, just agree," Haymitch inputted.

Katniss nodded, "No matter what. You are in capable hands, so don't worry."

Suddenly, the train was flooded with a brilliant light that seared through every dark space and gave it light.

I looked out out of the window and gasped as the Capitol exploded into view in a kaleidoscope of vivid colours.

"We're here," I whispered.

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I had to go it alone once we got to the Remake Centre, and I felt intimidated yet strangely intruiged by the various assortment of Capitol people that were milling about the room. They were all so brightly coloured and extravagent. None of them looked like they had ever heard, much less understood the word subtle.

Decimus, a purple skinned man with white blond hair and an intricate, blue inked tattoo running from his left eyebrow to the corner of his mouth, was one of the stylists assistants and yammered away to me in a seriously high pitched voice for the lenght of my physical preperation for the stylist.

It was fascinating.

Katniss told me that she had requested her stylist from the year before and that he was lovely, but if Decimus was this flamboyant, I had my doubts about the actual stylist.

I had to go through a severe run over before I could even be considered somewhat acceptable. I was poked, scrubbed raw, waxed, my nails were clipped, my eyebrows shaped and somebody kneaded cocoa butter into the places of my skin that were hard and rough.

It was enough to make anyone sore and irritable.

The thin robe that I had been clutching for the last few hours was stripped on and off at their convenience and I couldn't help but blush as they studied my body closely.  
The games really was an uprooting experience.

Then finally, after what felt like a torture session, Decimus squeeked "You can go in to see Cinna now. Just through that door over there."

He prodded me on my back and I grabbed at the robe, pulling it on before stepping over to the door. I looked back uncertainly, but Decimus was lost in the mass of multicoloured faces and so I had no other choice but to go right through the door.

"Hello, Primrose," Cinna said in a quiet voice that edged on warm and suprised me, "I'm Cinna. I have heard a lot about you."

"And I you," I murmered shyly as I sat down across from him on a red couch.

"You a very like your sister in some ways," he observed quickly and I didn't know what to say back.  
"So, let's get right down to it," he clapped his hands seriously, "Portia, Reed's stylist, and I were discussing your costumes for the opening ceremony with Katniss and Peeta a while ago and we're thinking of expanding on last years theme, so it will lead into this years theme. Like leading from Katniss on to you."

"I don't understand," I frowned, hoping I didn't sound slow.

"Sunlight," Cinna smiled satisfied, "You will be sunlight."

"Sunlight?" I wondered aloud, "But that hasn't got much to do with our District."

"Sunlight has to do with everything, everywhere!" Cinna exclaimed excitedly, "And besides, you are aloud to expand on the ideas used before and fire is linked with sunlight."

"Okay," I said, still unsure, "So I'm not going to be on fire?"

He smiled, "No. But you will be much more that the girl on fire. You will be the girl who lights up the world."

When he put it that way, it sounded amazing but I didn't really see myself as that sort of person. What if I couldn't pull it off? But I had promised to agree with my stylists so I sighed and nodded.

Cinna smiled unnervingly.

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I felt a fit of nerves simmering beneath my skin as I climbed into the charriot for the opening ceremony. This time, it was being held earlier in the day, rather than the usual evening time, so I didn't have time to think about the actual ceremony. The silky material of the dress slinked against my skin as I moved, sheathed in light.

I was dressed simply in a long yellow dress that had small silver reflective stones embedded all over it like tiny mirrors. It was made of a material that I had never seen before and it had a slight glow to it, but nothing too flamboyant.

My hair was left down and blow dryed out so that it fell strongly below my shoulders in a flash of highlighted blonde.

The make-up was the biggest shock for me, however. My skin was tinted a shimmering honey colour and my cheeks were rosy pink. My eyes were huge and dark, drawn out as if by the light with smoky shadow and ebony eyeliner. My features were pencilled sharper, making me look older, fiercer, stronger.

I looked like a leader.

Beautiful and confident, coupled with the whisps of light that floated off of the dress, I looked dazzeling.

Like sunlight.

I wobbled slightly in the sparkly shoes that were altered to give me a boost in height. Cinna gave me an excited grin from the ground. I felt the carraige dip as someone climbed on and I turned to see Reed.

And I gasped.

At first he appeared to be dressed in a simple black shirt and trousers but then I saw.

The dark colours contrasted with his grey eyes and made them pop and shine. An ice white lining ran down the lenght of his outfit and the shirt shimmered of the same fabric as my dress, speckled with random flecks of silver like stars in the sky. Up close, I saw it wasn't just black, but a mixed swirl of ebony, greys, midnight blues, silvers and smudges of charcoal.

His face was somehow breathtaking. His dark hair was left in his usual messy style, as though it has been carefully aranged that way. That, topped with the shimmer of his skin and the sparkle of his eyes made him look like he was shining with a brilliant white light.

I immediatly got the insinuation.

He was moonlight.

He just looked at me as though we happened to run into each other in the town in our usual clothes.

"Have you got any idea what this has got to do with our District?" he asked with a raised eyebrow in the stylists direction.

"Not really," I smiled.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, "We're dressed as opposites!"

"You're only noticing now?"

He grinned sheepishly.

"This is it!" Cinna anounced, "Remember to smile! Shine like the sun, Prim!"

I nodded nervously.

There was a slight lull before we pulled into the City, and I realised that the crowds were waiting for us. After the last games, District 12 was right up top with the best of them. They were calling for us.

I heard them calling our names even before I could see the crowds.

When the charriot rolled out in front of the crowd under the sunlight, something amazing happened.

Reed and I exploded in a brilliant light that made me catch my breath. When the light shone on the fabric of our clothes, it reflected it back as though we had light bursting from our pores. Our skin was dazzling and I felt like I was swimming in light.

So this is what Cinna was planning.

I turned to Reed and smiled brightly. His eyes were wide with wonder and I laughed.

I caught sight of us on a large television screen and we looked breathtaking. We stood, side by side, sheathed in the most beautiful light that illuminated our features and made us look heavenly.

The contrast of our dark and light outfits was stunning.

I was blown away.

The crowds started screeching our names, showering us with flowers of every kind. I saw Reed waving animatedly at his admirers, so I began to as well. Reed leaned across me purposefully and waved at someone from my side. I elbowed him sharply and the crowd exploded in laughter.

He grinned at me and I was wordless at how he looked ablaze with light.

The thrumming music ribboned in with the shouts of joy and it felt like floating.

Then the charriots finished the circuit and it all came to a halt in front of the President's mansion. He gave the usual speech and good lucks all round as though he wasn't sentencing ten people to death.

I couldn't help but watch his cold eyes and feel smug.

_You're finished,_ I thought, _You're reign is over. We are going to bring you down and end all of your inflicted misery on Panem_.

I smiled evily.

The cameras did a final run through of our faces as the charriots headed into the training centre and I noticed how they lingered on us, just a little bit longer than the other tributes, like a moth attracted to a flame.

When we pulled in, we were flocked with people immediatly, singing glorified praises.

"Perfect," Cinna smiled when I got to him, "Absoloutly perfect."

I smiled and thanked him. It was all his doing and I knew it well.

"So, that was..." Reed blew out a breath, unable to find the right words.

"Yeah," I agreed. Speechless.

"What's next, then?" he asks as we head towards the building.

I look up and feel a lump rise in my throat.

"Training," I murmer and it carries all the way to the Training Centre and bounces back like an arrow on target.

Our first time spent with the other tributes.

_Okay Prim_, I thought, _this is where you come in._

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**Again, thanks for reading and I hope you review!**

**I am getting off now before I read any spoilers of CF!!! :O**

**Currently reading: The Hand of the Devil by Dean Vincent Carter. Not sure if its any good yet but here's to hoping.**

**District Nine is out in cinemas now, I think. I have to see it! I want to see The Final Destination and Sorority Row too...!**


	16. Sorry

**I'M SORRY!**

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**Phew lol I thought I'd just get that out there first :P**

**I hate people that do these little notes but its a necessity right now.**

**I am so sorry I haven't updated in.. well FOREVER! **

**I finally read CF (Hands up who can't wait for Mockingjay :D) and believe it or not, a lot of what I had in mind for IJAH was the same as the book minus a few details, then I got stuck on what to do and blah, blah, blah...**

**There is no point in me making excuses anyway because I know no one cares!**

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**So I've recently returned to FF and I have a few ideas for the fic now. I was wondering if there is still any interest in it?**

**Let me know if you think I should continue on... I won't bother if there isn't many interested... :(**

**Its just I used to get such a great response to it I don't want to let it go without a fight!**

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**I am so out of the FF loop now! If anyone has time, you should let me know if you've written any good fics or know of anyone who has :) **

**Can't wait to get reading again!**

**Ooh, I've started a new fic called Missing - bit of a slow start but its getting there! I would appreciate any support if you're up for a read!**

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**Thanks for reading! (Sorry again) Love you guys x**


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